How to Argue or Disagree with Style

Couple quarreling

Never Argue Rather Discuss

Thinette winking

Dear Thinette

Never argue with your partner, my dear, rather discuss a problem. How to do it in style is a challenge.

Let’s have a look, what is, an argument? It is a claim you make and then justify it with reasons.

To argue, according to the dictionary, you want to persuade someone of your beliefs. You want him or her to see it your way.

Every argument has a value, it is either true or false and is in the eye of the beholder. Little difference can be good for a relationship, it helps to get to know your partner.

How to Argue or Disagree with Style Couples in discussion in the park.

It is wise to listen to a statement, decide if it is true and make sense. It may be an emotional problem or it might be a good idea. If it is not the truth, and a twisted version of reality, it does need attention. Find a quiet place and discuss it.

Before getting too upset ask yourself “ How does this affect me? Why am I unhappy and why would I want to argue?” Is it my ego talking, or is it to enhance the relationship?

You know, the bad boy adrenaline will rush through your body and make you unhappy, ugly and sick in the process. It is not worth it. See differences as a way to learn to know your partner better

The Anatomy of a Discussion.

This explanation of the anatomy of an argument will clarify the situation and make it easier to find a resolution and not go in never-ending blaming circles.

There are different components to an argument or discussion,

Reason for the argument,

Exchange of ideas between partners

Conclusion or outcome.

Be fair and know, you as a team are against this problem, and not you and the problem against your partner. Solve it as a team.

Your Behavior During a Discussion

  • First of all, kiss and hug before you start, making sure the other will know you still love him or her no matter what.

  • Have definite family rules in place before such an event occurs, my dear. Do this planning in advance.

  • Never avoid difference of opinions, discuss it, if not, it builds stress and can have a bad influence on your health.

  • Structure how you will handle a serious discussion with a difference of opinion, and stick to it. Have a ‘safe word’ to opt-out for a while.

  • Never go into a discussion upset or angry. Schedule a time, be calm and know what you want to achieve. Harmony and peace is your priority, my dear. See the bigger picture.

  • Make it very clear, both parties should know exactly what it is about, no misunderstandings.

  • Support your statement with good reason and evidence.

  • Know exactly why you have this disagreement. Both should observe it from a neutral point of view.

  • Make yourself clear, and give your partner time to make him or herself clear too.

  • Never overreact, shout, blame or insult your partner, no name-calling. Blame the situation or behaviour, never the person.

How to Argue or Disagree with Style Image of couple arguing

  • Don’t let grievances simmer. Get it out in the open as soon as possible.

  • Be fair in your accusations. Was this situation created deliberately or did it happen unintentionally?

  • Accept the fact that you also have guilt in the situation, acknowledge and talk about it, apologize if necessary.

  • Find a compromise that both are happy with.

  • Do not be judgmental.

  • Listen to every word, it is important.

  • Never argue in public, rather say “I disagree with you but we can discuss it later.”

  • Agree to disagree instead of keep on arguing. Accept it and move on.

  • Don’t ask your partner to do something you are not prepared to do.

  • Find the culprit of this argument, get to the core.

  • Talk about the situation afterwards, discuss the possibility that it might occur again and find a solution.

  • Ways to end a Disagreement in Style

  • Take hands and look into the eyes of your partner

Couple holding hands

  • Agree to make changes to solve the problem, compromise and adapt.

  • Agree to disagree instead of keep on arguing.

  • Take a break and make some tea if you get too emotional.

  • Write a letter or an email, explaining how it makes you feel.

  • Go for a walk together hand in hand, and talk about the problem

Couple walking hand in hand on a beach

How to do it in Style

The Three Components of an Argument

This explanation will make it easier to find a resolution and not go in never-ending blaming circles.

There are different components to an argument or discussion,

  • Reason for the argument,

  • Exchange of ideas between partners and then

  • Conclusion or Outcome.

Be fair and know, you as a team are against this problem, and not you and the problem against your partner. Solve it as a team.

A claim one partner put on the table is a reason for the discussion or argument,

The counterclaim comes from the other partner and is the opposing claim

Both partners should get time giving the reasons to their claim and should be in both cases be supported with evidence.

Each should get enough time to have their say without interference. The two main parts are the evidence and the conclusion

A conclusion should be reached. Be prepared to make compromises in the name of Love.

If you were guilty in any way, it is good to offer a gift of apologies too. Maybe her favourite flowers or a ticket to her favourite show or event, kiss and makeup.

How to Apologize in Style

  • Make sure you both have said it all, everything is off your chest, before apologizing.

  • Apology statements should always start with “ I “

  • I am sorry …

  • I will make sure …

  • I promise …

  • When apologizing never use the words BUT, HOPE, MAYBE, MIGHT, IF. That is still blaming and negative, it cancels the apology, and you are back to square one.

  • Know what you are going to say in your apology. Be prepared.

  • Never hold any grudges, say it all and don’t go back later to talk about it again. It is done and water under the bridge.

  • Don’t ever say “ I told you so “

How to Restore a Relationship

  • Find a solution in advance so it cannot to happen again.

  • Consummate the apology. Great sex and intimate talk afterwards are powerful ways to heal a problem.

Couple in bed

This will take the sting out of arguments or disagreements.

Love you

Gran Stella


Inspire Motivate and Empower the Next Generation


Your Health and Relationships

Brain with Areas of emotions


Dear Thinette

Thinette behind a laptop

Did you know that the quality of a relationship has an influence on your health my girl? Your health and relationships are so closely connected.

Hormones Health and Relationships


The feelings you get, from outside influences or thoughts, evidently triggers a chemical reaction in your brain, it is mostly emotional messages.

It acts as a very important biochemical messenger, sending messages, received from your five senses to your brain along with the neurotransmitters, with either a good or bad message.

Your Health and Relationships The Brain and message areas

Sometimes it is a message to run for survival and your muscles will, therefore, react in a certain way. Sometimes it triggers an emotion, through memories in your mind, that makes you laugh or cry. The mind reacts to these messages with immediate effect and it shows in your behaviour.

The quality of your relationship matters to the extent that it can help to prevent cardiovascular disease and depression. It has a direct influence on your metabolism, sleeping patterns, and mood swings.

Studies found that people, unhappy in a relationship, have depression and many times poor health. Social engagement is one of the most important factors of longevity. Make sure to be a happy person. People will want to be with you, and that is a win-win situation.

Lifestyle and Habits play a huge role in your health and happiness. It evidently spills over into your relationships and affects the quality of your connections. Your brain is the big regulator, its task is to keep the balance perfectly. It reacts to the messages it gets from the neurotransmitters and adjusts accordingly.

Neuro network in brain

A happy relationship is responsible for the feel-good hormones released in your brain, making you feel happy and healthy. It happens through incidents which create the feelings that dictate your behaviour. You can also enhance the function of the neurotransmitters, sending messages in your body, with certain foods and exercise.

Let’s have a look and see how it creates the feelings you experience.

Firstly, I have to say, there are really no good or bad hormones. All have a function and a role to play. One without the other will create more health problems. Like anything else in life, the magic is to keep the balance. When out of balance, the good ones can have bad effects on the body too, but in general, this is how it is perceived.

Feel-Good Hormones

  1.  Dopamine.

  2.  Serotonin.

  3. Oxytocin

  4.  Endorphins.

Hormones that have a Bad Reputation

  1.  Cortisol

  2.  Adrenaline

  3.  Norepinephrine

The Feel Good Hormones

1. Dopamine

Benefits for the Body

  • You will be willing to listen to one another more often and have more patience

  • Prepared to compromise. Communicate openly without judgment

  • Teammates in every situation and engage with each other

  • Remember dates and details about each other’s lives

  • Have similar interests and do activities together

  • Couples respect and trust each other more.

Activities to enhance Dopamine

  •  Exercise daily, alter between high intensity and super slow movements for 15 min

  •  Get at least 7 hours sleep

  •  Practice Yoga or Meditate every day, go into a calm state of mind

  •  Listen to music

  •  Sauerkraut, pickles and kefir is natural probiotics

  •  Eat more Protein, meat, eggs, cheese, nuts, beans in particular black beans

  •  Eat less saturated fats

Foods to Eat

  • Eggs

  • Nuts such as walnuts and almonds

Cheese and walnuts

  • Vegetables and fruit in particular bananas

  • Salmon, Sardines and Mackerel

  • Unprocessed meats such as beef, chicken, pork and turkey

  • All dairy products, milk, yoghurt, cheese, and butter

  • Best of all Dark Chocolate

2. Serotonin

The Benefits for the Body

Maybe best-known as, the happiness hormone. It helps regulate your moods, appetite, memory, digestive system and sexual desires.

Activities that will enhance Serotonin

  •  Exercise daily

  •  Spend time in the sun and nature

  •  Meditate daily or practice Yoga, keeping the mind calm

  •  Eat healthy in particular Omega-3 fatty acid

  •  Reminiscent on happy memories

  •  The feeling of greatness and gratitude when you reach a goal

  •  Use your sense of smell and taste. The smell of freshly baked bread and walking past a coffee shop, the aromas recall happy memories. The use of essential oils like Lavender has a calming effect as well.

Foods to Eat

  • Eggs

  • Milk

  • Tofu

Your Health and Relationships food Curry Tofu

  • Nuts

  • Turkey

  • Spinach

  • Pineapples

  • Salmon

 Omega-3 Salmon fillet

  • Seeds

3. Oxytocin

The Love Hormone

Benefits for the Body

Well known, as the hormone that promotes warm fuzzy feelings of love, and makes social bonding and well-being possible. It al happens when you touch and cuddle a loved one.

Activity that enhances the release of Oxytocin

  • Share something with somebody, from a kiss to a memory.

  • Practise an activity that gives excitement, for instance, a computer game, a rollercoaster ride or bungee jumping

  • Get socially involved and focus on others

  • Soak and relax in a bubble bath

  • The excitement of giving someone a gift

  • Become a visual listener, use pictures to learn something

  • Stroke your pet

Foods to Eat

  • Green tea

  • Spinach

  • Avocado

  • Figs

  • Watermelon

Healthy fruit Watermelon

4. Endorphins

It is similar in structure to the drug morphine. Concentrating in the specific area in the brain to alleviate pain, and give the feeling of euphoria, all-natural.

The Benefits for the Body

  • Helps you deal with the pain

  •  Reduce anxiety and stress

  •  Helps with weight control

  •  Boost confidence and self-esteem

  •  Helps to keep depression in check

  •  Give the Feel-Good feeling

Activities to enhance the release of Endorphins

  •  Do Cardiovascular and aerobic exercise, get the heartbeat up and sweat a little. Take a bike ride or run in nature. Walk in the sand on the beach.

  •  Drink wine, in particular dry red wine.

  •  Make love

  •  Laugh a lot

  •  Give each other an essential oil massage

  •  Practice Yoga or Meditate

Foods to Eat

  •  Eat spicy foods

  •  Chocolates and Strawberries

  • Animal meats, eggs and dairy

  • Ginseng

  •  Seeds and nuts

  •  Fruit like grapes and oranges

your Health and Relationships Grapes and Oranges

The Bad Boys

Your Health and Relationships

Hormones that give negative feelings and can cause destruction.

  1.  Cortisol

  2.  Adrenalin

  3.  Norepinephrine, also called noradrenaline

Human behaviour

Isolation is the biggest factor to trigger these hormones. Being negative, unhappy and stressed can have the effect that people will avoid being with you. They do not avoid you, as a person, they still love you, but it is your behaviour that scares them away.

The risk of obesity, inflammation and high blood pressure can be caused by social isolation.

1. Cortisol

Known as the Stress Hormone

The security system of the body, sending out stress signals if something is out of balance. It is wise to recognise the signs. If you do not give attention, it will create havoc in the body and make you sick.

Find the problem, solve it and all will be peaceful again. In other words, don’t ignore and blame. As an example I have a cardio problem, now I know part of it was an emotional problem that caused it, I realised it and rectify it, all is now well again.

Benefits for the Body

  • It plays a beneficiary role if in normal status

  • Regulates your sleeping patterns

  • Help to keep inflammation in check

  • Boosts your energy levels

  • Restore the body to normal after stressful situations

  • Regulates blood pressure and blood sugar levels

Activities for Cortisol

  • Meditate or practise Yoga

  • Regular aerobic exercises

  • Listen to music

  • Practise a hobby

Your Health and Relationships Girl playing her guitar as a hobby.

  • Eat less sugar when obese

2. Adrenaline

The warning system of the body.

Benefits for the Body

  • Enlarge the pupils of your eyes

  • Increase your heart rate, normal heart rate is around 70 to 75 beats per minute

  • Relaxing your air passages for easier breathing

  • Change in the rate of your metabolism

  • Directing more blood to your muscles

Activities for Adrenaline

  • Deep breathing exercises with slow movements

  • Meditating to calm the mind

  • Eat a balanced diet, concentrating on foods for hormones

  • Have a bedtime schedule

  • Limit alcohol

  • Avoid processed foods, foods in a tin, caffeine and sugar

4. Norepinephrine

This is the hormone that causes mood swings from feeling happy the one moment to having panic attacks next. Making you excited, impulsive, lower inhibitions and in the process making bad choices. Alcohol can enhance the situation.

Many people suffer from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), so here is the culprit.

Treat with great care.

Benefits for the Body

  • This is the alert system of the body

  • It increases alertness and arousal

  • Helps with focus and attention when normal

  • Builds memory and help to retrieve it

Activities for Norepinephrine

  • Meditation or Yoga

  • Calming music.

  • Reaching small goals.

  • Regular sleep pattern

  • Daily exercise

  • Eating dopamine rich foods such as dark chocolate, even licking body paint will do.

Dark chocolate body paint


In conclusion my dear, a happy relationship is dependent on good health. Eat a healthy diet. Listen to your body, it gives you signals all the time. Pay attention, learn to recognise them and act immediately. If you look closely you will see a golden thread of similarities weaved through them all. Find it and live by it.

Know what is best for you, your body, and your mind. Emotional health is just as important as bodily health. Treat them both with the necessary respect and you will have a wonderful balanced happy content life.


Gran Stella


Inspire Motivate And Empower The Next Generation





Ways to Get Your Ex Back




Thinette looks sad

Let us spend some time and find what has happened and what are the reasons.  Let’s get to the bottom of it. Ask yourself these questions and find those reasons why it happened, before you decide, my dear.

Ways to Get Your Ex Back

Why Did It Happen?

Why did you break up? It is not about the resent argument but the underlying differences coming a long way.

Were you a priority in his life?

Did you have the same values and vision?

What gave you a feeling of happiness, in the beginning, thinking about him and this relationship? Is it still there?

Analyse and find what has happened to make you unhappy and caused the split. Look at the behaviour on both sides and list what created this rift from your point of view. Realise it happened over time, and you missed the signals.

What could have gone wrong

You have to know, a man loses interest when the relationship stagnates. It does not have the challenges he wants to pursue, or it has become the dumping ground of all your problems and negativity, blaming him all the time.

Where you just two different people with nothing in common except the sex? You don’t think the same or do the same, always an argument.

Is it fundamental differences? Know you can never change any person’s behaviour if they are not prepared to do it themselves. If it is not negotiable it is not worth the try, my dear. Define your emotions and get clarity. 

Have you become too predictable and boring in his eyes?

All this could end in frustration, arguments and name-calling. If it is fundamental differences, my dear it is not worth pursuing this relationship. It is doomed to fail.

A man wants to be around a happy and fun-loving person, if not he will go and find it somewhere else. He will just slowly disappear from your radar. 

 Do you really want him back and what are your reasons?  Analyse and find what has happened to make you unhappy and what caused the split up. Examine the behaviour on both sides. List what created this quarrelling and rift from your point of view. Could it be habits that are not negotiable?

Guidance with Granny Ways to Get Your Ex Back Couple quarrelling  

Ask yourself this question:  Why do I want him back in my life if there was unhappiness? What does he mean to me and my future? Are we compatible?

If the answer is an overwhelming YES, my darling. there is a solution, hang on and listen carefully.

‘Get your ex back’ is your mantra now if that is what you want.

So here we go …

Get new inspiration and focus on yourself. You are on a mission now to become the better You! The New You, he will fall in love with again.

Time to Value Yourself

First of all, the focus is now on you my dear. Forget about him for the moment. It will be very hard because all you want, is to be with him again. It is not going to happen soon and not the way to do it, my dear, trust me on this one.

Get your ex back girl by a stream in the mountains being happy and free

Feel free! Now is the time for a big shift and change in your life. Become this fun-loving, happy, confident, lady free in yourself. 

Number one … Stop all contact with him at once. Stop texting and stalking him. Don’t have the slightest intention or wish to message him, because he detests it.

In his mind, he is done with the relationship and doesn’t want to see or hear from you.

When you keep on pursuing, men will say anything to keep you quiet and happy. It will not be the truth or how they really feel. They will not do what they say, just fade away and never contact you again. Did you hear what I just said, my dear? Read it again!

He will call and says he still loves you and want to see you again. Do not fall for it, it is his way to validate that you still desired him and he is not a failure. Break up totally and keep it that way.

Forget about having an agenda or plans to get him back, that will happen by itself if it is meant to be. Find new friends with the same interests as you and avoid mixing in the same crowd as he.

Guidance with Granny Ways to Get Your Ex Back A row of friends holding hands

Don’t worry there will always be someone who will keep him informed of all you are doing, and the more active you are in a group of new friends the better, my dear. Forget about him for now.

Focus on becoming a better version of you for YOURSELF. Believe and grow into this goddess you always wanted to be.

Hint: stay out of his site, avoid all visual contact, at events and parties. Stay with your new friends. He will see the new person developing from a distance. 

Getting Your Ex Back

Society puts so much pressure, it is time you break that bondage and become who you really are.

Tips and Plan of Action

  • BECOME CONFIDENT. Believe in yourself and your dreams, make it your goals and say to yourself ‘ I can and will do it!’.

  • Dream big and let no one convince you otherwise. Walk tall!

  • KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. What do you really want to achieve in life? Do you want to travel or have a career, have a family or stay single? Forget about your Ex and outside influences, you have to find what makes YOU happy!

  • TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Now is the time to change to who YOU want to be, without any interference The image of the little doll everybody else wants you to be, has to go out the door. Take a hard look in the mirror, and love the person you see, fat, wrinkles, freckles, cellulite and all.

Guidance with Granny Get your ex back by taking care of yourself girl jogging .

  • See if there are some improvements you want to make. How long have you had the same hairstyle, the same way you do your makeup? Would you like to have a firm body? Get going and make the improvements, focus, exercise and achieve the goal you have set. Keep the glasses, dull hairstyle and big clothes to keep the old image for a while, hiding your new image until you are ready. When the time is there, you will change to an unrecognizable new you, like a butterfly from a cocoon!

You are now the most important person in your life

  • KEEP LEARNING. Improve yourself. You might have an interest you always wanted to pursue, gain a new skill and become good at it. Get out your comfort zone and grow. Now is the time for those guitar lessons you always wanted to master or become an online businesswoman.

  • To become more motivated find a mentor and follow his advice. In business, I would think of Dan Lok, mindfulness to develop consciousness Dan Dapani is a good example, there are so many good mentors, as a result, will enhance your life.

  • STAY INDEPENDENT.  Society has conditioned a woman to be dependent and to serve. Strive to have a life filled with happiness and joy of your own. A partner will come into your life as a bonus, even more, you will both add and share happiness. Two individuals having separate lives joined together becomes a perfect circle. Think of it as double pleasure, instead of one boring struggle.

  • SEEK HELP. When heartache, sadness and loneliness are crushing you inside, rather reach out to someone you trust with your feelings. Have a good cry and talk to find new strength. The trust you show in them will strengthen the bond too and will mean so much to them being able to assist someone in need.

  • HAVE YOUR OWN OPINION. Never feel afraid to speak up and say what is on your heart. Your opinion matters. Be more assertive, and learn to say no. Demand behaviour that makes you happy. There are ways to say it, be mature and diplomatic, most of all, never hurt someone’s feelings.

Learn from Your Mistakes.

If you don’t have mistakes you are not growing as a person, therefore learn from it and take responsibility, be accountable for your own mistakes. Was it the wrong decision? Apologize, and make sure never to repeat the same mistake again.

get your ex back  compare your change to the life cycle of a butterfly.

This was your mission to change into this beautiful butterfly, enjoying sparkling happiness in the sunshine. You have changed for a better stronger You.

Now you are ready my dear, the time is here to get your Ex Back with Guidance with Granny

You have reached your goal to be who you always wanted to be. Be independent, have the best skills to prosper and be happy for the person you have become.  It is a feeling of freedom my darling. Nothing can hold you back.

You have become this new goddess, with a new hairstyle, new natural makeup, new well fitted timeless clothes and a new body. This is the new person you are comfortable with.

Make all these physical changes just before a party you know your ex will attend too. You are ready for this new life you have created.

Keep the element of surprise, arrange with a friend who understands the situation to accompany you. Make a grand entrance on the arm of a new man and stay out of your Ex’s way, ignoring him, laughing and enjoying the party as if he is not there.

This new sparkling you will be an eye-catcher my dear and you might have a few more new followers too.

Enjoy all the attention and make better choices, be yourself.

The right one will find the new you very enchanting. and fall in love with you for the right reasons, the real independent you, not a puppet or a doormat.

The new You might not even want to get your Ex back my love.

Love you dearly

Gran Stella

Granny Stella

How to Make A Man Fall In Love With You


How to Make the Right Man Fall In Love With You

Dearest Thinette

Thinette my Granddaughter.

What is the secret to keeping a man happy and in love, you may ask? Instinctively you want to shower him with your attention love and care but that is not a good idea, my love. It could mean the end of a good relationship. Read more, find out and know what a man wants.

Your happiness, shining in your beautiful smile, has captured his heart because men love to be able to make you happy. Smile and laugh often, it shows him it is easy to make you happy.

True love really exists my dear, if you have not felt it yet, you have not fallen in love!

Nothing feels as good and makes you glow with happiness more than having a man truly loving you from his heart. Giving you his devotion, undivided attention, making you feel special and the only woman that matters. He wants to be with you, furthermore, do things with you and for you. He wants to give you the world.

 I am pretty sure you will hardly ever find him in the early years of your adult life because most men are still on a learning curve, experiencing, having good fun, for that matter, he is not ready.

That is the time you have to enjoy exploring too. It is not the time to look for a serious relationship, because the men you are interested in, are just not ready to settle down. The serious men who want to settle down are older and are seldom in the groups you are mixing in now.

Have fun and enjoy your youth without trying to settle too quickly, it will be a huge mistake, my dear. Most of the time it is with the wrong person and will cause many unhappy and sad moments.

How to Make the Right Man Fall In Love With You

When you are older and know what you want you will find your man. Men calmed down the older they get, and therefore know what they want. A man has to be ready to get serious, he has to feel secure and confident in his career before come looking for a long term relationship.

How to Make A Man Fall In Love With You kissing a woman's hand falling in love

They also get sick and tired of the hollow dating scene and fun and sex.  Most of them have established their careers and feel much more confident.

 How to Make a Man Fall In Love with You

Be Selective

To find a man in an ordinary bar is not an ideal place if you want a keeper unless it is a high-class specialised bar. Guys in local bars are not ready to settle down and are still on the fun and fool around phase.

Find a guy who has the same interests as you, for instance at a sports club, charity events, church, business seminars, visit top restaurants, etc. They will most probably have the same interests and values and it will be a much better chance of finding your man.

When you have caught his eye and he is interested too, what now my love?

Learn the Art of Flirting.

 Flirting is al about establishing a connection that will lead to a love relationship. There are verbal and non-verbal flirting. One is more subtle than the other. Playful interaction with eyes and a smile is the most common. It is an act you can learn, my dear.

Have a few dates to make sure he is as interested as you are. Do you have a lot in common and can you start trusting each other? Invite him to join you and friends at a sporting event. See if he is comfortable, take part and fits in with the group.

How to make a man fall in love with you, keep him interested and devoted to you has all to do with his primal needs, my dear.

Capture his Mind, Caress his Ego and take Care of his Soul.

A Man and His Mission

A man set goals and is always on a mission. When a man is serious about something, he wants to be the victor of every goal he sets in his life. Everything is a challenge and he must be the champion whether it is a race or a business deal. Men are competitive creatures from birth, my love.

Most of all, he wants to be the conqueror of the most valuable prize of his heart… You! How do you create this contest to become the ultimate winner of his heart?

A Man In Love

Ways to Capture His Mind

 17 Secrets to a Man’s Love

  •  Men need a challenge to ‘win’. Keep him winning your attention repeatedly. Never become comfortable and too easily accessible. Let him ‘deserve’ a date with you, occasionally let him earn it, even when you are married.

  • It is good to keep evenings specific for dates, at least once a week. You don’t have to go out, have a private date at home, just the two of you, lock the doors and switch off the phones. Organize with a friend to take care of the kids overnight and next time you return the favour.

How to make a man fall in love with you, lock on door and give him special attention.

  • Make him conscious how important you are, having you by his side will enhance the quality of his life tremendously. Every man wants a great woman by his side.

  • A way to create value is staying away for a while with good reason, go out with lady friends, go and visit your parents, go on a course at work, etc.

  • It will leave an emptiness making him aware how much he misses you, imagining a life without you will be detrimental. He will realize your value and be more dedicated.

  • A man wants a woman who has a calming effect and brings happy feelings in his life. Men are programmed to move towards things and people who create the feel GOOD and happy feelings and will move away the moment something feels BAD and heavy.

  • Make him feel he is the most important and best person in your life. Shower him with compliments and mean it, especially his physic, he wants reassurance every day.

  • A man wants to be in a relationship which makes him feel good. Never turn a relationship into your emotional dumping ground, blaming or accusing him.

  • How to Make A Man Fall In Love With You Couple arguing

  • The best attitude is to be happy and fun to be with and not give him the feeling you are using your relationship as a place to air all negativity or problems you have. If that is your attitude, change it if you care about a successful relationship.

  • Find a specific place and time to discuss bad influences threatening the relationship. Do in a calm manner and deal with it in a unified way.

  • Ask each other’s advice, listen and compromise. You can say anything and everything you want to him and have his deep appreciation for you, as long he feels you are on his side.

  • Never accuse, blame or make him feel like you are opposing him, that is conflict. In a healthy relationship, a man wants to share his emotions with someone he can trust, just like you, whether it is good news or bad.

  • Never try to change the character of your partner. To have a complete relationship you must accept and enjoy each other as unique individuals.

  • Don’t try to conform and change your partner to your needs. Relax, love and enjoy who he /she is, stop having concerns and worries, let go and let be! Things you find important might be destroying your relationship causing your man to pull away.

  • Why did he not text me back or call me? Remember your man is a Hunter! Single-track minded with good reason and his focus is on his goal of the moment. I

  • It all goes back to ‘winning‘ the challenge of the moment. Anything outside that target is a distraction from his mission. Texting or calling is the last thing on his mind and has nothing to do with you or what you did.

How to make a man fall in love with you, limit texting and calling him on the phone.

  • A man wants to feel acts of love from you too. Unconsciously they expect your love back it the same way they show their love to you. It is the only way they will recognize it.

How do you show the love the way he will recognize?

Guidance with Granny Making A Man Fall In Love With You


Make it your priority to understand the way your man loves.

Love and romance have been confused with wants and needs as much as a need for oxygen. All his acts of love can be romantic if you know his love language. You might have an image of what love means to you, on the other hand, your man has an image what love means to him and these two images can be worlds apart, with unnecessary misunderstandings as a result.

  • Many women have a man that loves them deeply and show it to her in his way. She never appreciates it, because, she does not know his love language.

    Simply look at the way he is showering you with his love. What are his surprises? Pay attention to special personal little acts of love, is it words of love and praise, hugs and kisses leading to the bedroom. Is it small gifts he comes home with or things he does for you to make you feel special, maybe cook you your special meal.

  • You will immediately recognize his acts of love and that is the way to love him back. Keep it balanced and don’t go overboard, giving too much will make him bored.

The X-Factor in a Relationship

Confidence Confidence Confidence. Be sure of who you are and what you have.

Before you enter a serious relationship, my dear makes sure, first of all, you both know who you are. Be happy with the person you are and the body you have. Inspire and support each other to keep growing within, together and separate my dear.

The magic ingredient for all successful happy relationships is, most importantly, Self-Development. You must be prepared and willing to develop on different levels, to be independent financially or psychologically, spiritually, romantically, sexually and physically, make it your mission to achieve it.

How to Make A Man Fall In Love With You Sexy confident woman

You are an individual earning the right to live a happy life all by yourself. Don’t depend on other people or goods, or a situation to make you happy. Admittedly, this is the way to make a man fall in love with you forever and ever.

Love you.

Grandma Stella

Gran Stella

Inspire Motivate And Empower The Next Generation

A Siren Woman Demands Nonverbal Attention

Siren woman Screaming nonverbal confidence

My granddaughter with her cat

My darling Granddaughter

A Siren Woman Demands Nonverbal Attention

A Siren Woman? What does it mean, my dear? According to the dictionary,  she is a classy lady who is, first of all, a confident seductress, a charmer, a femme fatale, a goddess, a sex symbol, a temptress and a vamp.

To demand attention in a subtle nonverbal un-obtrusive way. Just be self-assured and who you truly are. Confident without being arrogant, and above all, well-groomed without being over the top.

Every woman should inspire to be that woman. The secret is to go very subtle about it, and certainly, all men worthy will take note and see you as a valuable woman, a price to be won.

Have you ever had the feeling at a party or gathering, you are invisible? You are there, but, no one sees or hears you? It is a horrible feeling to be a wallflower, you want to go home and hide under the bed, but it is easy to overcome my dear. With a few changes in attitude and mindset, it will be easy to finally become a Siren Woman and the Belle of the Ball!

 Siren Woman Demands Attention Nonverbally and is a soft shy girly type with confidence.

Know what you want your persona to be. Are you a soft shy girly type, then you accentuate being a seductive silent flirt with the look in your eye.

You might be the outgoing laughing fun-loving woman, in contrast always be discrete and never too loud. Be always in charge of the situation and your emotions. Be fun but never talk too much, say as little as possible about your private life. Make it all about the other person or people.

A Classy Confident Woman

Know what kind of man you want to attract, not just everybody in the group, and know what characteristics are important. Be selective and wise. Have your list of habits and values handy, it is the best way to have clarity.

  •  Formulate what you want, what is important to you in your life. What characteristics should a man have, most of all,  what would make you happy! Should he be a serious, sporty, outgoing or funny guy? This is only the first layer of choices.

  • Set boundaries. Create your value, because men love a lady who has boundaries. Stick to it to maintain your value, no matter what, be consistent. Should he be religious, academic, professional, nerdy or a practical skilful man? This is the next layer of choices, my dear and then you get the non-negotiable characteristics,  trustworthy, honesty, loyalty, respectful and reliability.

  • Find what you are passionate about, and focus all your attention to develop the skills to make a success. It creates fulfilment and happiness. Empower yourself. It can be music, art, academics, gardening and plants or an entrepreneur, most of all enjoy what you are doing.

Siren Woman Demands Nonverbal Attention Woman sitting painting

  • To be financially independent is the most important asset in the life of a great woman. It gives you the confidence needed for high self-esteem and a positive outlook. Find the job you love. Be a Geisha girl.

  • Love yourself. Make peace and forgive yourself for mistakes made in the past, best of all, become your own best friend.

  • The mind is like a fertile soil – you reap what you sow, take great care to sow only positive seeds.

  • Never compare yourself to other women. You are authentic and unique, so love your body… there is nothing sexier for a man if his woman is comfortable in her own skin and confidently love the body she is in, no matter her weight or size.

  • Put the spotlight on yourself by your appearance. In public dress to highlight your assets. If it is your eyes make sure to accentuate it, wear subtle makeup, remember men prefer the natural look, and wear earrings to draw attention upwards to it.

Siren Woman Demands Nonverbal Attention Woman with a natural look

  • You might have nice breasts, therefore, wear tops or dresses to enhance your asset. Showing off is an art, never to tight or revealing. You may have a good tight bum, show it off in a subtle way by wearing snug fitted jeans or skirts.

  • Remember, never go over the top, keep it classy and in good taste. It must enhance your value and never go beyond your boundaries, except in the bedroom.

  • Be fun to be around, men love a great smile. Do not take life too seriously no matter what the circumstances are.

  • Always make a comment to see the lighter side if a situation. It shows you are a strong woman.

  • Do not panic easily, or be a drama queen. Nothing should get you under. Handle all with style.

  • Be able to receive a compliment with grace, therefore, never be arrogant. Be a bit shy but always thank him generously.

  • Ask your man for his advice and help and more so accept it his assistance – this is very crucial. He will feel important and needed, most of all, it will boost his self-esteem.

  • Be a diverse woman, never be predictable with stereotype looks and behaviour, always change your hairstyle, dress code and where you want to go.

This is the trick to make him feel he is with a different woman every time, it fills the need to be with multiple women. Never fall into a routine, because it is very boring.

 Siren Woman Demands Attention Nonverbally and who have multiple looks, never the same.

  • Stay a challenge and let him ‘chase’ you. Show just enough of your personality to keep him interested but stay a mystery. When you are constantly in his face, he will feel too secure and loses interest, be the ‘may-be’ mystery woman that stays just out of scope.

  • He must have an elusive feeling that is attainable. Be never too available, and let the challenge continue. Find ways to challenge him every day. Postpone feel-good activities for a silly reason, or make him do certain things before he can achieve a feel-good act, but on the other hand, ever manipulate your man.

  • First of all, have your own life with own friends and activities, and let him have his too. You will have your mutual friends and activities too as a couple, therefore, giving each other space will make the bond much stronger.

A Strong Independent Woman

Strong relationships exist when two whole people come together to share life with each other. This is the love every man and woman is striving for. There is a unique permanent beauty in an independent woman. It excites and most of all sustain a man’s interest over time, creating depth and lasting love far beyond physical.

The greatest gift you can give your partner is your own personal growth and development. Say to each other:” I will take care of Me for You” and “You will take care of You for Me.” In other words, take care of your own EMOTIONS and expect your partner to take care of his/her own. Nobody ‘owns’ anybody.


There is a subtle difference between being supportive or in contrast, be an obligation. Any sacrifice for another must be made as a self-directed choice and not as an obligation.

The greatest skill my darling is to get attention without being overbearing and arrogant. Stay humble, have good confidence, most of all, carry yourself with grace.

Love you

Grandma Stella.

Gran Stella

Inspire Motivate And Empower The Next Generation

How to Make A Man Fall In Love With You


15 Tips for a Good Relationship

Happy couple sitting arm in arm on a bench.

Dear Thinette,

Tips for the right mindset, attitude and behaviour.  In any good relationship, it is never about yourself, but always about making your partner happy. That will at the same time secure your own happiness too.

Tips for a Good Relationship Happy Couple

The character of a happy relationship has certain basic rules, which is part of your habit system.

Fifteen Tips for a Good Relationship.

 A Thought or Two.

Values and sharing the same vision is a binding factor. Have values of importance in place, my dear. Make a list of 5 behaviours you are not prepared to tolerate form a partner, no matter what. Behaviour which is not in line with your values is not acceptable, for instance, accessive drinking, not being honest or find it hard to communicate or support you.

Culture of Couples

Relationships engaging in romantic ties have a life of its own without being influenced by the social set of norms by society. Couples have taken back the control society had over them.

Enjoyment in an intimate relationship is getting to know each other on all levels, and still maintaining personal control.

Types of Relationships and Advice

Moving in together

Legal Advice

Keeping Records

Staying-Over Relationship

Tips for a Good Relationship Man and woman holding picture of home

  • Moving in together became the norm. There are a decline in marriages altogether and society has become more accepting of this trend. Living together brings its own set of problems. Legally it can become a mess when you decide you are not meant for each other and want to go separate ways.

  • My advice is, to keep a record from the beginning of what is yours and what is mine. When accumulating and buying new items, keep a record. This is to protect and keep this wonderful relationship, from any misunderstandings, keeping it in perfect harmony.

  • Stipulate who owns what and why? Make it easier by keeping all proof of purchases, make copies of the invoices and receipts because of the ink fading over time. Mention who the owner is, both sign it and each keeps a copy in your own personal file on the shelve! Not done with ill feelings but to secure the health of the relationship.

  • Another phenomenon has developed and that is called the Sleep Over or Stay-Over relationship. Committed couples and even married couples maintain each their own households and share their spaces occasionally with each other. Both stay at one’s place during the week and weekends move to the partner’s place. The Staying Over arrangement does not have legal implications.

Couples with a Stay Over relationship are more content and the relationship stays exciting.

Tips for a Good Relationship. keep the relationship exciting. Heart of love.

These options are the best to have when not ready for a full commitment yet. See it as a trial period.

15 Tips for a Good Relationship

  • Make a list of five behaviours you are not prepared to accept from any partner. Being an alcoholic, too loud, bad manners, lazy, have no interests, do not communicate, swears like a sailor, do not respect women in general, etc.

  • Make a list of five important character and behaviour trends you want your man to have. He must be kind, have a vision, hardworking, dedicated, honest, self-confident, active, laugh often, etc.

  • A good starting point in a relationship is to compare the behaviour of your friend to those of your ideal partner. When you are feeling attracted to someone, immediately correlate with your list. Hold on to this interesting man if he scores marks on your list, or move on if he is not compatible. It will save many heartaches. Move on before you fall in love with the wrong man/woman, it will never be a happy relationship.

  • Is he/she SUPPORTIVE of you and your interests? Can you grow as a person? Does he enhance you as a person or is he taking you down?

  • TAKE IT SLOW. At the beginning of a relationship, everybody will go to all ends to be the perfect and ideal partner to impress. The more time spent together the more relaxed you become and eventually start having normal behaviour. Giving the relationship time, will bring forward natural behaviour, best of all, see if you are really compatible.

  • BE NEVER OBSESSED. To be a couple means to be exclusive in away. Though together, you are still two individuals with separate lives and interests. Be together, but never be so intertwined and involved in each other’s lives that you are suffocating each. Have some breathing space. Respect and trust for this space are Key to a lasting relationship.

Tips for a Good Relationship, man with sunglasses looking over the rim

  • BE NEVER JEALOUS. Have trust in each other.  Your friend might have a crush on someone else. Let him enjoy it, you might have a crush on someone too. It is just a chemical attraction caused by the eye, not the emotional attraction you have for each other, it is perfectly normal. He will appreciate and love you more by participating in one of his past times. Discuss it, even use it to enhance your intimate life. Enjoy it together it’s only a fabricated flash of the imagination and not of the HEART.

  • KEEP THE DESIRE. Never stop romancing, desire and wooing each other. No matter how old you are. When being together for a long time, that is when you should amplify it the most. To be loving and thoughtful plays a huge role in maintaining a good relationship.

  • COMPLIMENT each other. Be sincere and honest. A  man normally compliments a woman,  but did know men crave compliments too?  Tell him how good his body is, or you can disappear in his beautiful blue eyes.


  • GOING TO BED TOGETHER. Having intercourse is a major part of any relationship and is very intimate. Before getting sexually involved, it should be discussed in advance, before the moment, and agree upon. Make a responsible decision beforehand. Making sure both are ready for the possibility of getting pregnant, contracting transmitted deceases. The degree of trust involved is very important. Being on the same level and agree to a mutual decision makes it more pleasurable. Listen to each other and indulge later.

  • COMPROMISE. Being able to compromise on a decision means you are able to give Respect, Patience and Space and is a binding factor in any relationship. See the situation from both side compromise, grow individually and agree on being ‘Half Happy’, it is better than ‘Not Happy’.

  • LET PETTY THINGS BE. Make no big deal of petty things in a relationship. Anybody can make a mistake, be late, forget a special date and have a sudden change of plans. It is human and doesn’t have to be a big deal. It might be frustrating but not life-threatening. There is no need to rant and rave, talk calmly and humorously about it and come to a compromise.

  • BE PATIENT. When your partner is busy or away, be patient, all is not about you all the time. Understand and support him or her in the situation, be there to assist rather than blame.

  • BE THOUGHTFUL. In the simplest ways, you can make a huge difference. A thoughtful remark can be done in a loving calm way, never be harsh or judgmental. Writing a love note put it in a pocket of his shirt, trousers, or a book, a surprising email with a loving quote will wake him up at work. Sneak a chocolate bar into a pocket to be found later. A thoughtful surprise has tremendous effects.

Tips for a Good Relationship is to leave love notes for your lover

  • DO THE RIGHT THING. Know what is the right thing to do and then, do it. Have an inner voice that guides you. Always choose a calm and loving way to say or do things.


The biggest threat to a good relationship is a selfish person, self-centred and egoistic. All is centred around the comfort of one person. Where does one learn that bad habit?

My dear Thinette, find proven ways and practise it to have a good love relationship with a happy ending.

Put your partner’s well-being on top of your agenda and as a result, you will reap the benefits multiple times. Do something special for him every day, and you will become the cherished one.

Best wishes for a good and happy relationship!

Love you

Gran Stella

Granny Stella

Inspire Motivate And Empower The Next Generation