Letter 26 Get Your Ex Back.


Thinette sad

Have you ever had that lost feeling and have regrets as high as a mountain?

Tears running down your cheeks thinking it is the end of everything?

Staring blankly into emptiness with a hollowness from top to toe?

Well, my darling there is a way to cure it all, hang on and listen carefully. ‘Get your ex back’ is your mantra now.

It will be hard, but you have to forget about him at the moment, get new inspiration and focus on yourself. You are on a mission now to become the better You!

It all went sour, maybe you act or looked a certain way and he became too used to it and got bored … maybe you were too demanding?

You have to know, a man loses interest when the relationship stagnates. It might not have challenges he wants to pursue, or it has become the dumping ground of all your problems and negativity, blaming him.

A man wants to be around a happy and fun-loving person, if not he will go and find it somewhere else.

Happy woman

Feel free! Now is the time for a big shift and change in your life. Become this fun-loving, happy, confident, lady. 

How do I do it?

Number one … Stop all contact with him at once. Stop texting and stalking him. Don’t have the slightest intention or wish to message him because he detests it.

In his mind, he is done with the relationship and doesn’t want to see or hear from you.

When you keep on pursuing, men will say anything to keep you quiet and happy, it will not be the truth or how they really feel. They will not do what they say, just fade away and never contact you again. Did you hear what I just said, my dear? Read it again!

If they call and say they still love you and want to see you, do not fall for it, it is their way to validate that you still desired him and he is not a failure. Break totally and keep it that way.

Don’t give in! First, become a new person he will fall in love all over again. Don’t mess this up!

Forget about having an agenda or plans to get him back, that will happen by itself if it is meant to be. Find new friends with the same interests as you and avoid mixing in the same crowd as he.

Don’t worry there will always be someone who will keep him informed of all you are doing, and the more active you are in a group of new friends the better, my dear. Forget about him.

Focus on becoming a better version of yourself FOR yourself. Believe and grow into this goddess you always wanted to be.

Hint, stay out of his site, avoid all visual contact, at events and parties keep your old image till you are ready, making the surprise of the new you more exciting. 

Society puts so much pressure, it is time you break those bondage and become who you really are.

Plan of action.

  • BECOME CONFIDENT. Believe in yourself and your dreams, make it your goals and say to yourself ‘ I can and will do it!’.

  • Dream big and let no one convince you otherwise. Walk tall!

  • KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. What do you really want to achieve in life? Do you want to travel or have a career, have a family or stay single? Forget about your Ex and outside influences, you have to find what makes YOU happy!

  • TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Now is the time to change to who YOU want to be, without any interference The image of the little doll everybody else wants you to be, has to go out the door. Take a hard look in the mirror, and love the person you see, fat, wrinkles, freckles, cellulite and all.

girl running with earplugs listening to music

  • See if there are some improvements you want to make. How long have you had the same hairstyle, the same way you do your makeup? Would you like to have a firm body? Get going and make the improvements, focus, exercise and achieve the goal you have set, but keep the glasses, dull hairstyle and big clothes to keep the old image hiding your new image until you are ready. When the time is there, you change to an unrecognizable new you, like a butterfly from a cocoon!

You are now the most important person in your life

  • KEEP LEARNING. Improve yourself. You might have an interest you always wanted to pursue, gain a new skill and become good at it. Get out your comfort zone and grow. Now is the time for those guitar lessons you always wanted to master or become an online businesswoman. To become more motivated find a mentor and follow his advice. In business, I would think of Dan Lok, mindfulness to develop consciousness Dan Panani is a good example, there are so many good mentors to look at.

  • STAY INDEPENDENT.  Society has conditioned a woman to be dependent and to serve. Strive to have a life filled with happiness and joy of your own. A partner will come into your life as a bonus, share and add to your happiness and you will add and share his life and happiness. Two individuals having separate lives joined together becomes a perfect circle. Think of it as double pleasure, instead of one boring struggle.

  • SEEK HELP. When heartache, sadness and loneliness are crushing you inside, reach out to someone you trust with your feelings. Have a good cry and talk to find new strength. The trust you show in them will strengthen the bond too and will mean so much to them being able to assist someone in need.

  • HAVE YOUR OWN OPINION. Never feel afraid to speak up and say what is on your heart. Your opinion matters. Be more assertive, and learn to say no. Demand behaviour that makes you happy. There are ways to say it, be mature and diplomatic, never hurt someone’s feelings.

LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES. If you don’t have mistakes you are not growing as a person. Learn from it and take responsibility, be accountable for your own mistakes. Was it the wrong decision … Apologize … and make sure never to repeat the same mistake again.


This was your mission to change into this beautiful butterfly, enjoying sparkling happiness in sunshine. You have changed for a better stronger You.

Now you are ready my dear

You have reached your goal to be who you always wanted to be. Be independent, have the best skills to prosper and be happy for the person you have become.  It is a feeling of freedom my darling. Nothing can hold you back.

You have become this new goddess, with a new hairstyle, new natural makeup, new well fitted timeless clothes and new body. Thi sis the new person you are comfortable with.

Make all these physical changes just before a party you know your ex will attend too. You are ready for this new life you have created.

Keep the element of surprise, arrange with a friend who understands the situation to accompany you. Make a grand entrance on the arm of a new man and stay out of your Ex’s way, ignoring him, laughing and enjoying the party as if he is not there.

This new sparkling you will be an eye catcher my dear and you might have a few more new followers too.

Enjoy all the attention and make better choices, be yourself.

The right one will find the new you very enchanting. and fall in love with you for the right reasons, the real independent you, not a puppet or a doormat.

The new You might not even want to get your Ex back my love.

Love you dearly

Gran Stella

Granny Stella



6 Comments on “Letter 26 Get Your Ex Back.”

  1. Some absolute words of wisdom!
    It’s so important to put yourself first in such situations and I hope that whoever needs to read this finds it and gets their confidence back.

    1. Thank you Sophie, an absolute inspiring comment, I appreciate it.
      One tends to focus on the heartache and loss, feeling sorry for yourself for the wrong reasons but it might be a blessing in disguise.
      When you are independent someone falls in love with you for who you are, being yourself.
      Thank you for stopping by.

  2. This advice rings true in a marriage ten fold. I feel like so many people now, decide to rely on their partner for their happiness when in reality, we all need self love and self care before anything else that is external. There is something to be said about someone who WANTS to be with you and doesn’t NEED to be with you. it releases a type of pressure and tension in the relationship.

    1. Confidence and independence are the X-Factors in a relationship.
      Very true what you say, to find who you are and where you are going is very important too.
      It makes for a happy partnership.
      There is nothing worse than a needy demanding partner, a true recipe for disaster.
      Be happy and independent and a person will fall in love with you for the right reasons.
      Thank you for a very valuable comment I appreciate it.

  3. Dear Stella,

    I love your article. You are right. Forget the past and move on are the best solution for anyone. Making a better version of one is the best way to enjoy life and being positive about life is the only way to make one’s life more meaningful. Everyone should take his own responsibility and lead his own life. Past is a thing that we cannot change. So it is better to focus on our present and that will shape our future. Maybe someone better is waiting for us. Love u.

    Thank you so much for your article.

    1. Very true Khobayer no one controls anybody and no one owns the other in a relationship.
      Each stay his or her own person but share interests and values with each other.
      If you can’t forgive and forget, resentment will simmer and cause much unhappiness, rather step back and heal yourself first.
      Positive mindset is key for happiness as you say.
      Thank you for your positive inspiring comment, much appreciated!

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