Have you ever had that unhappy feeling and felt sick at heart, mind, body and soul. The whole world came to a stand still and everything means nothing. You don’t even want to get up or look up. You feel deep down in a dark hole. That is the power of a relationship gone bad or a misunderstanding happening.
This letter is about having the right mindset for a happy relationship. Knowing what is important to maintain the wonderful union you have. The character of relationships has changed and evolved with the other changes life goes through, and rightfully so.
I do not agree with all the old school ways, it felt like a dictatorship and you had to comply or ‘die’. Here are a few tips for a good relationship my dear, but first a thought or two.
Culture of Couples.
Relationships engaging in romantic ties found a way of its own without being influenced by the social set of norms by society. The key motivation, enjoyment and the comforts of an intimate relationship is getting to know each other, while still maintaining a high degree of personal control. Couples took back the control the society had.
Moving in together became the norm, there are a decline in marriages all together and society has become more acceptable of the trend. Living together brings its own set of problems. Legally it can become a mess when you decide you are not meant for each other and want to separate.
My advise will be to keep record from the beginning of all the goods bought together when accumulating items and maybe pets too.
Stipulate who is going to get what and why? Make it easier by keeping all proof of purchases, make copies of the invoices and receipts because the ink fade over time. Mention who the owner is, both sign it and each keep a copy in your own personal file!
Another phenomenon has developed and that is called the ‘Sleep Over’ relationship. Committed couples maintain each their own households and share their spaces with each other. Both stay at your place during the week and weekends move to your partner’s place. The Staying Over arrangement does not have legal implications.
Couples with a Stay Over relationship are more content and the relationship stays exciting.
These options can be the best way to have all the benefits of a good relationship when you are not ready for commitment or your future is still unstable and not decided yet.
The Best Way to Handle Your Relationships
TAKE IT SLOW. In the beginning of a relationships everybody will go to all ends to be the perfect and ideal partner to impress. The more time you spend together the more relax you become and start being your normal self. Giving your relationship time to grow and develop will bring out the natural behaviour.
BE NEVER OBSESSED. To be a couple means to be exclusive in a way. Though together you are still two individuals with separate lives and interests. Be together but never intertwined or consuming of each other’s lives, have some breathing space. Respect and trust for this space is Key to a lasting relationship.
BE NEVER JEALOUS. Have trust in each other. Your friend might have a crush on someone else. Let him or her enjoy it you might have a crush on someone too. It is just a Chemical attraction, not the Emotional attraction you have for each other, it is perfectly normal. Discuss it, even use it to enhance your intimate life and enjoy it together it’s only a fabrication of the EYE and not of the HEART.
KEEP THE DESIRE. Never stop romancing, desire and wooing each other. No matter how old you are. When being together for a long time, that is when you should amplify it the most. To be Loving and Thoughtful plays a huge roll to maintain a good relationship. These were the things that attract you to each other in the beginning. Men mostly compliment a woman, but women you have to repay the compliments. Men very seldom get compliments and they enjoy it just as much. Tell him what beautiful blue eyes he has or how good his body looks etc.
GOING TO BED TOGETHER. Getting laid is a major part of any relationship and is very common from the start, but before getting sexually involved, it should be discussed in advance and agree upon. Make a responsible decision. Making sure you both are ready for the possibility of getting pregnant, contracting transmitted deceases, and the degree of trust involved is very important. Being on the same level and agree to a mutual decision makes it more pleasurable. Listen to each other.
COMPROMISE. Being able to compromise on a decision means you are able to give Respect, Patience and Space and is a binding factor in any relationship. See the situation from both side compromise, grow individually and agree on being ‘Half Happy’, it is better than ‘Not Happy’.
LET PETTY THINGS BE. Make no big deal of petty things in a relationship. Anybody can make a mistake, be late, forget a special date and have sudden change of plans. It is human and doesn’t have to be a big deal. It might be frustrating but not life threatening. There is no need to rant and rave, talk calmly and humorously about it and come to a compromise.
BE PATIENT. When your partner is busy or away, be patient, all is not about you all the time. Understand and support him or her in the situation, be there to assist rather than blame.
BE THOUGHTFUL. In the simplest ways you can make a huge difference. A thoughtful remark can be done in a loving calm way, never be harsh or judgmental. Writing a love note put it in a book or a surprise email with a loving quote. Sneak a chocolate bar into a pocket to be found later. A thoughtful surprise has tremendous effects.
DO THE RIGHT THING. Know how and when to do the right thing. You have an inner voice that tells you the right way. Always choose the calm and loving way to say or do things.
And this my dear are a few tips for a good relationship. The biggest threat to a good relationship is a person being selfish, self centered and egoistic. Put your partner’s well-being on top of your agenda and you will reap the benefits multiple times.