Letter 22 Tips for a Good Relationship.

Dear Thinette,

Have you ever had that unhappy feeling and felt sick at heart, mind, body and soul. The whole world came to a standstill and everything means nothing. You don’t even want to get up or lookup. You feel deep down in a dark hole. That is the power of a relationship gone bad or a misunderstanding happening.

This letter is about having the right mindset for a happy relationship. Tips for a good relationship. Knowing what is important to maintain the wonderful union you have.

The character of relationships has changed and evolved with the other changes life goes through, and rightfully so.

I do not agree with all the old school ways, it felt like a dictatorship and you had to comply or ‘die’. Here are a few tips for a good relationship my dear, but first thought or two.

Culture of Couples.

Relationships engaging in romantic ties found a way of its own without being influenced by the social set of norms by society. The key motivation, enjoyment and the comforts of an intimate relationship are getting to know each other, while still maintaining a high degree of personal control. Couples took back the control the society had.

  • Moving in together became the norm, there are a decline in marriages altogether and society has become more accepting of the trend. Living together brings its own set of problems. Legally it can become a mess when you decide you are not meant for each other and want to separate.

  • My advise will be to keep a record from the beginning of all the goods bought together when accumulating items and maybe pets too. No matter how ideal and wonderful the relationship is, this is to protect and keep this wonderful relationship from misunderstandings and in perfect harmony.

  • Stipulate who is going to get what and why? Make it easier by keeping all proof of purchases, make copies of the invoices and receipts because of the ink fade over time. Mention who the owner is, both sign it and each keeps a copy in your own personal file!

  • Another phenomenon has developed and that is called the ‘Sleep Over’ relationship. Committed couples and even married couples maintain each their own households and share their spaces with each other. Both stay at your place during the week and weekends move to your partner’s place. The Staying Over arrangement does not have legal implications.

  • Couples with a Stay Over relationship are more content and the relationship stays exciting.

Flaming heart with man and two women in it.

  • These options can be the best way to have all the benefits of a good relationship when you are not ready for a full commitment or your future is still unstable and not decided yet.

The Best Way to Handle Your Relationships

  • Make a list of 5 behaviours you are not prepared to accept from any partner, it is a good starting point to select your ideal partner. When you find someone, immediately compare behaviour to your list, and move on if it is not acceptable. It will save many heartaches if you move on before you fall in love with the wrong man/woman, it will never be a happy relationship.

  • TAKE IT SLOW. At the beginning of a relationships everybody will go to all ends to be the perfect and ideal partner to impress. The more time you spend together the more relaxed you become and start being your normal self. Giving your relationship time to grow and develop will bring out the natural behaviour.

  • BE NEVER OBSESSED. To be a couple means to be exclusive in away. Though together you are still two individuals with separate lives and interests. Be together but never intertwined or consuming of each other’s lives, have some breathing space. Respect and trust for this space are Key to a lasting relationship.

  • BE NEVER JEALOUS. Have trust in each other.  Your friend might have a crush on someone else. Let him or she enjoy it you might have a crush on someone too. It is just a Chemical attraction, not the Emotional attraction you have for each other, it is perfectly normal. Discuss it, even use it to enhance your intimate life and enjoy it together it’s only a fabrication of the EYE and not of the HEART.

  • KEEP THE DESIRE. Never stop romancing, desire and wooing each other. No matter how old you are. When being together for a long time, that is when you should amplify it the most. To be Loving and Thoughtful plays a huge role to maintain a good relationship. These were the things that attract you to each other in the beginning. Men mostly compliment a woman, but women you have to repay the compliments. Men very seldom get compliments and they enjoy it just as much. Tell him what beautiful blue eyes he has or how good his body looks etc.

  • GOING TO BED TOGETHER. Having intercourse is a major part of any relationship and is very common from the start, but before getting sexually involved, it should be discussed in advance and agree upon. Make a responsible decision.

  • Making sure you both are ready for the possibility of getting pregnant, contracting transmitted deceases, and the degree of trust involved is very important. Being on the same level and agree to a mutual decision makes it more pleasurable. Listen to each other.

  • COMPROMISE. Being able to compromise on a decision means you are able to give Respect, Patience and Space and is a binding factor in any relationship. See the situation from both side compromise, grow individually and agree on being ‘Half Happy’, it is better than ‘Not Happy’.

  • LET PETTY THINGS BE. Make no big deal of petty things in a relationship. Anybody can make a mistake, be late, forget a special date and have a sudden change of plans. It is human and doesn’t have to be a big deal. It might be frustrating but not life-threatening. There is no need to rant and rave, talk calmly and humorously about it and come to a compromise.

  • BE PATIENT. When your partner is busy or away, be patient, all is not about you all the time. Understand and support him or her in the situation, be there to assist rather than blame.

  • BE THOUGHTFUL. In the simplest ways, you can make a huge difference. A thoughtful remark can be done in a loving calm way, never be harsh or judgmental. Writing a love note put it in a book or a surprise email with a loving quote. Sneak a chocolate bar into a pocket to be found later. A thoughtful surprise has tremendous effects.

Note of Love

  • DO THE RIGHT THING. The know-how and when to do the right thing. You have an inner voice that tells you the right way. Always choose a calm and loving way to say or do things.

And this my dear are a few tips for a good relationship. The biggest threat to a good relationship is a person being selfish, self-centred and egoistic.

Put your partner’s well-being on top of your agenda and you will reap the benefits multiple times.

Best wishes for a good and happy relationship!

Love you

Granny Stella

Gran Stella.

8 Comments on “Letter 22 Tips for a Good Relationship.”

  1. I have been having a rought time in my relationship for the past 4 months, I think I am going to change some things.

    Thank you so much for the advice and info, love it.

    I will let you know how it went, and also, I love your website! 🙂

    1. Hi Kayin, Yes sometimes we have to hear stuff to find clarity.
      Relationships are the most important thing in everybody’s life, and it is all up to you to make it happen.
      If you have a good relationship you are happy and everything else goes smoothly.
      I will be here if you want to share with me or send me a pm. You are welcome!
      Have you read the Roller coaster ride too … here is the link


      You might understand the mind of a woman better.
      Have great success if you feel she is worth it!

  2. Fantastic Post Stella, I have been seeing my womder girlfriend for about 7 months now, some very relevant points for me here. Thank You

    1. Thank you Heath! A healthy relationship is the greatest gift one can have in life. You are truly blessed!
      As long as one realizes it is a continues process, it can be hard work at times too to keep it that way.
      There are more on relationships and one specific for men …
      The roller coaster ride to understand the way a woman think and love.
      I appreciate you comment it motivates me.

  3. Thanks for sharing some great advice. Relationships can be awesome and also very challenging. They take up such a large portion of our energies, either looking for someone to love or being in a relationship. Our minds are consumed with questions of is this the one? am I doing the right thing? do they love me as much as I love them….. and on and on it goes to challenge us.
    I believe that being in love is so important for our health and mental wellbeing as love and having sex bring our attention into the present moment! This is where we need to be more often 😉
    Thanks for sharing.

    1. Relationships are awesome with the right person and if not, it can be challenging … lol
      One grows into knowing if it is the right person, spending time together, communicating lifestyles brings clarity.
      Being in love is total harmony in the body.
      Love making and having sex can have different meanings, but both are experienced within a relationship, sometimes it is with loving care and at other times with lust, it lies in the eye of the beholder.
      Thank you for sharing your thoughts Andrew, I appreciate it!

  4. Everyone always expect for good relationship and I am also. That why I am reading your blog. In your blog I find fantastic information. It’s really helps me lot. Thanks for sharing.

    1. Everybody deserves to be happy in love, it all depends on the choices you make.

      No one ever teaches this most important facet of life.
      If you are done fooling around and wants to settle you have to know how to select the right partner with the same values and vision.

      Fabulous if you could find something to take home.
      Thank you for a great comment, I appreciate it.

      Wishing you all the best to find your dream woman!

      p/s I love your website and find it very interesting!

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