Letter 27 Integrity The Meaning.



Dear Thinette

Thinette with glasses

I would like to share this true story of integrity, the meaning, the failure to deliver and the consequences my dear. About a decade ago I had this experience with someone who was in trouble and without any money.

I reached out and started helping, assisting with everything one needs to live. The person kept on reassuring, making promises that the problem will soon be solved, well it lasted the best of 14 years and drained all our funds. The debt amounts to a total of about $150 000 over the 14 years.

The problem was, I was told only half-truths, and promises upon promises ‘next week’ became a slogan, but it never came true.

After all our funds were depleted I asked friends and family to assist. They trusted me but my integrity became a question mark after a while.

What I have been taught at home,  learning the importance of building a reputation of integrity and maintaining it all my life was ciphering away. My credibility came under scrutiny by family and friends.

It is very hard to earn it back my dear, but I know it will happen one day. I had to take responsibility for my bad choices and own it. Apologized to family and friends and was so grateful it was accepted.

Now I have to right the wrong done to family and friends. It feels as if it is my debt, I have to pay back because I was the one asking. All was meant so well my dear but beware!

What I learned from this hard lesson was, never trust blindly, and see if actions follow the words. Signs were there, but I kept on pushing it aside because of empathy.

It was half the truth and just empty promises. Telling me what I needed to hear without action to validate the words. I felt so used when I realized what happened.

Now with that said I want to benchmark the importance of Integrity one should have. The lack thereof can have a huge impact on life.

Quote of Warren Buffet on Integrity

IN LOOKING FOR PEOPLE TO HIRE LOOK FOR THREE QUALITIES, INTEGRITY, INTELLIGENCE AND ENERGY. AND IF THEY DON’T HAVE THE FIRST , THE OTHER TWO WILL KILL YOU.

To become a person with integrity you have to make an informed decision to obey certain rules of values and ethics.

Let’s have a look:

What is the behavior of a person with Integrity?

  • You have to have a set of ethical and moral principles to live by. To do the right thing in all circumstances, even if no one is looking. Be always true to yourself and do nothing that will dishonest or demeans who you are, even in private.

  • Be humble, be authentic don’t follow the crowd, have good judgment, apologize and have emotional intelligence.

  • Keep your promises, even if it takes extra time and effort.

  • Go back to the shop to pay for something you accidentally walked out with without paying.

  • Return money if you see someone dropped it, without wanting to be rewarded.

  • Inform the cashier when they gave you back too much change.

  • Push the shopping trolley back to where it belongs.

  • Never betray someone’s trust in you.

  • Do not talk badly or gossip about other people.

  • Ignore someone’s advice to illegally cheat on the system and taxes.

  • Never let someone else takes the blame for something you did.

  • Remain true to your loved one.

  • Don’t keep secrets in a committed relationship.

  • Keep confidential information confidential.

  • Have a quality of fairness that inspires, everybody admires it. You have a moral compass that never go off course.

” LIVE IN SUCH A WAY THAT IF SOMEONE SPOKE BADLY OF YOU, NO ONE WILL BELIEVE IT.”

How do I demonstrate it?

Live and demonstrate your values in all your relationships, may it be with your loved one, coworkers, customers, stakeholders or the man in the street.

Honesty and Trust are cornerstones to Integrity. People who demonstrate these values draw others to them, because they are trustworthy and dependable.

How do I incorporate Integrity and Honesty in my life?

  • Keep commitments no matter what the circumstances may be .

  • Keep your word. Let your No be your No and your Yes be your Yes, there are no Maybes.

  • Deliver on Promises, no compromises this time.

  • Pay attention to your environment, be organized, no mess only footprints left behind.

  • Stay focused do not get distracted by temptations or other opportunities. Give what you are busy with all your attention, keep going till you have the results you set upon and are satisfied with.

  • Surround yourself with honest trustworthy people. People with the same philosophy and positive attitude.

  • Respect yourself and respect other people. Everybody deserves respect until proven otherwise. Respect has a domino effect, Respect yourself, respect others and everybody will start respecting themselves and each other.

  • Be dependable. Show up when you have to show up and never be late. Be someone who can be expected to deliver what have been promised on in time.

“You are in integrity when your life you are living on the outside matches who you are on the inside.” Alan Cohan

Dependable the Meaning

A dependable person is someone who you can count on, are trustworthy and will honor their commitments.

RELIABLE the Meaning

Image result for quotes for reliability

Do actions agree with words?

There’s your measure of reliability.

Never confine yourself to the words’

A reliable person it someone who has consistently proven to do the right thing at the right time, actions follow his words.  Is a very hard worker and are always there when needed.

“DON’T BE RELIABLE ONLY WHEN IT IS CONVENIENT.”

HONESTY the Meaning

When you speak the truth, act truthfully and never lie. An honest person does not do things that is morally wrong.

RESPECT the Meaning

Respect is the way you think or speak of somebody. Respect for you has to be earned by your behavior.

“THE MOMENT YOU TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE IS THE MOMENT YOU CAN CHANGE ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE.” Hal Alrod.

RESPONSIBILITY the Meaning

Hal Elrod Qoute on Responsibility

“THE MOMENT YOU TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE IS THE MOMENT YOU CAN CHANGE ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE.” Hal Alrod.

You have to make decisions, take responsibility for your actions and accept the consequences. Being a person who keeps promises and commitments.

LOYALTY the Meaning

Someone who is loyal is trustworthy and faithful to people in his or her life and you can depend on that person. A loyal person is devoted and always there for you, it is an act of will.

REPUTATION  the Meaning

Image result for quotes for reputation

IT TAKES 20 YEARS TO BUILD A REPUTATION AND 5 MINUTES TO RUIN IT. IF YOU THINK OF THAT, YOU’LL DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY.  Warren Buffet.

Reputation gets determined by your behavior and acts. It can be good or bad. Being kind and trustworthy gives you a good reputation.

LEADERSHIP.

Integrity Quote for Businesses

When you read through all of this my darling you can detect a thin line linking all the components. The one is not possible without the other. Our generation grew up with all these skills, it was the norm and part of everyday life. There were those who did not live by these unwritten rules of life, but were marked as untrustworthy and to be aware of.

I believe you grew up with the same basic skills love. Integrity the meaning means less stress, a freedom of feeling that leads to more happiness. The question is, is it still in practice in society and in business? If people turn back to these basics skills, everybody will have a better quality of live and be more successful the honest way.

This is a recipe for total freedom of the thoughts that leads to success.

Image result for quotes for integrity

INTEGRITY GIVES YOU REAL FREEDOM BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR SINCE YOU HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE.  Zig Ziglar

Love you

Granny Stella

Gran Stella.

https://guidancewithgranny.com


14 Comments on “Letter 27 Integrity The Meaning.”

  1. This is a beautifully written post and as relevant in today’s world as much as it was in the past. Sadly some people don’t hold these values which are essential in both personal life and business. Thank you for sharing 🙂

    1. Hi Kathy Joyce, yes the world has changed into a greedy monster that chases the glitter, I am sure they are not happy in their hearts.
      They have to run all the time to stay ahead of all the lies and corrupt hideous lifestyles.
      Thank you for your kind words.
      Stella

  2. Hello Stella,

    very wise words you left here.
    There are so many people who promise you everything and then doing nothing. Coming up with lies and stories. Maybe some of them are really in trouble and just don’t dare to admit their situation because it’s too shameful.
    But that ones who don’t even have a bad conscious are really bad. They know exactly who they must look out for….. honest people who trust in humans. And it’s really hard to recognize these ones.
    Thanks for sharing your experience!
    All the best,
    George

    1. Human behaviour has changed for the worst George I agree. Man’s image and pride gets in the way sometimes.
      Like it says the devil looks after his own, and we don’t understand how it is possible, one can even feel the bad vibes when in their presence.
      Integrity skills are learnt at home when you grow up. If a different pattern is formed during those years via example, exposure or experience it is hard to correct and change. One has to make a conscious decision to change the habit and practice it.
      If everybody makes a decision to live by the rules of integrity, we will become a huge force to recon with, but for some it will be too hard.
      Thank you for a very motivating comment, I appreciate it George!
      Stella

  3. Oh Gran Stella what a wonderful post! Everything you say is so true. In this world it seems to be survival of the fittest or the most deceitful. When in fact this is not true. I think a lot of well meaning honest people get deceived into ‘helping’ others at the detriment of themselves. Sometimes it is empowering others to help themselves, that we actually help them. You give us a great moral code here and if everyone lived by it, I’m sure the world would be a much happier place. I love the concept of Letters to your Granddaughter! What inspired you to write this one?

    1. Hi Sara, I was inspired by experience and some one once said in a comment on relationships that some people lack these skills and I should write a letter about it advising the young ones, because it is not taught at school or anywhere.

      It is so sad that people lose track of what feels good and focus on what looks good.
      We honest people must wake up to recognize the greedy, outsmart them not to get swallowed. They are ruthless people.

      Thank you for leaving a very inspiring comment I appreciate it!
      Stella

  4. Thank you Stella on writing this post on integrity.

    Being educated in the Church and having learn good examples from Church Leaders, I learn the importance of integrity.

    Integrity is what builds a strong character.

    We need a strong character to withstand any trials and challenges in our lives.

    When we keep our integrity, we are building a strong defence against temptations and evil thoughts.

    We keep ourselves in check at all times, making sure that it will not lead to severe consequences.

    Therefore Integrity is the first and foremost attribute we need to have as a human being.

    1. So true what you say Winson! If parents know what a difference it will make in their children’s future, it will make the world a better place.

      To withstand the evil onslaught there is on the human race it is vital to have a strong base to operate from.

      Walking the straight and narrow is not always easy but the dividends from it makes it worthwhile.

      The freedom of thought it brings help you to open up and create a great life with endless opportunities.

      Thank you for a very motivating comment, I appreciate your visit to my site!
      Stella

  5. HelloIt is an amazing read. Reminds me of my granny teaching us these little lessons of life. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post and I assure you I am taking away a lot from here. People today have lost their core values but there are people like you who are concerned for the betterment of future generations. I applaud your efforts like no other.

    Thanks for writing this beautiful post.

    1. Shashwat at the time you did not realise why granny were at it all the time, but getting older and see the world through different eyes one can see the importance there of. 

      It is the small things that differentiate you from the rest, making you more successful because there are values and morals no business can teach you, you just have to have it in-bedded inside.

      Thank you for a very motivating comment I appreciate it very much.

      Great success on your way through live.

      Stella

  6. Thank you for this lovely letter and lovely reminder. Integrity is becoming harder to find in a world that is becoming more individualistic and materialistic, where technology that appears to connect us actually disconnects and desensitises us to so many of the core values that earlier generations grew up with and lived by.  All the behaviours you mentioned for a person of integrity are so true.  Above all, a person of true integrity is a person who behaves the same when no one is watching. To me this means that a person with integrity acts with integrity towards him/herself as well as others.  

    Sometimes this means asking whether on an overall balance, I am doing the right thing for my loved ones, myself and the people around me. I have been in a similar but less extreme situation you cited. In the end I had to ask myself what was the true motivation behind my behavour – did I really believe I was truly helping this person or was it more important to me to tell myself that I was making a difference and doing the right thing?

    One final thought, integrity is one of those virtues that are best learnt by growing with an observing someone who lives their life with integrity.  Not sure if you agree?

    1. What you say is true June.

      Yes I agree with you, these virtues are learned at home growing up. One live by example, and what you have been exposed too become the norm you live by. It is wise to select your mentors carefully for this reason.

      We call people by two names in the family, the organic real people and then you get the plastic fake people … lol  When you look around it is easy to spot them. One has to make a conscious decision to live by these virtues, it can be hard at times because you will get mocked, but it should not bother you or matter.

      A person should select your friends with great care, form healthy communities spreading wide and far, creating a better world one by one. It has become a priority to only associate with good people.

      Thank you for a very inspiring comment, greatly appreciate it!

      Stella

  7. Hy.
    I needed to hear this.Thank you for writing this post.

    I wish my Grandma taught me a lesson like this.
    Integrity is nowadays getting harder to find and possesions are prized more than people.
    One should always work on their decision making abilities and carefully choose his/her friends.
    Posts like these are what kept and is still keeping me going everytime I leave my hometown and sometimes dont know when I´ll be back.

    I am glad to have found your site.
    Do tell me though,
    where did you draw upon the inspiration for this post?

    Thank you

    Dario K.

    1. It is so true what you say Dario, possessions and self image have become so important these days and real values are not mentioned.

      If people who feels the same can start grouping together, making sure your friends have the same values as you have, then we will develop a new culture of integrity. Be different and let no one who don’t agree, influence or talk you down.

      No matter what colour of creed you are it is the character that counts, the world will become a better place.

      It started with my granddaughter, I saw her making unnecessary mistakes through ignorance, and felt the need to help but in a subtle way, therefore the letters. When observing people, their behaviour and body language, it was clear there is a greater need for letters like these with advice.

      Thank you for your kind words and valuable comment.
      Take care
      Stella

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