Letter 10. Authentic Happiness Authentic Love


Signs of True Love.

My dear Thinette

What does Happiness and Love mean to you? How would you describe authentic happiness and authentic love? Have you found it yet?  If you experience it, you look to the world with different eyes and your whole perspective change. With authentic happiness authentic love is easy and you will always have a song in your heart and stars in your eyes.

A man and a woman lying next to each other on hay holding hands rubbing noses and in love.

10 Signs of True Love

• You are so proud of him.

• If you feel tingles all over your body when you see his name appear on your phone.

• Your heart skips a beat when you hear his voice.

• You can’t keep your eyes off him.

• He is on your mind day and night.

• His happiness comes first, you will do things that make him happy, not you.

• Being more open and share more intimate things with him, he will do the same.

• Feel safe and secure with him, you will trust him with your life.

• You have to have that warm happy feeling when around him and want to be with him all the time.

  • Adore and desire him.

If you can’t mark them all, then you have not met the right one yet.

It will cause you lots of sadness and trouble if you want to pursue a relationship that is not meant to be, relax and just enjoy the company. Discuss the fact that a long term commitment might not work between you two and come to an agreement that leaving this connection is an option when you meet someone else. You will never have happiness if you try to change someone or force a relationship. It has to happen by itself. Leave that for-ever-space in your heart empty for The Special One.

Meeting Him

Timing has a lot to do with finding the right one. I believe you have to have met the goals you set yourself as a schoolgirl and single lady. Before you have achieved your goal you will not be ready for the true full time commitment with a partner. Your Knight in shining Armour will come looking for you when he has achieved his goals he has set, before he will get serious and are ready for commitment. That will be the unexpected, exciting moment of surprise when you met.

A well built young man in modern knights armour clothing sitting waiting.

Set your short term goals, knowing where you want to be or what you want to achieve. Maybe you want to go backpacking through Europe or do an Ocean swimming marathon before you commit for ever. Know what you want to achieve and start working towards it my darling. The sooner you met that goal the sooner you will be ready, not a moment before.

There has to be such a goal, it is the only way to have personal growth. You have to reach a certain level of maturity, and only experience can bring it before you can “live happily ever after”. Don’t sit back wasting your time and stay a child forever, put your head down and get busy my dear.

Having met your Prince, you might want to impress him but it is not such a great idea. Most men would like you to be your natural self, he wants you as you are, prefer less make up, no layers and layers of foundation, artificial nails, eyelashes or hair extensions etc. He wants to run his fingers through your hair, kiss you and not risking any injury when you touch him. Keep it simple and leave all those extras for your girl’s night out.

Never be to serious, always be playful and fun to be around, learn to play the flirting game. The way you make him feel when you are around is the deciding factor for him. Making him feel loved and special will trigger the switch in his brain and he cannot live without you. Giving him the respect he deserves and telling him, is an important cornerstone to a happy unique relationship.

If you are sure he is the man for you, only then you utter these words that will make him realise you are the one for him too. Tell him how much you Love and Respect him. How you much you Appreciate him for the person he is and how much you Adore him.

Girl putting her arms around a man's next and look him in the eye

Put your arms around him, look him in the eye, tell him and seal it with a kiss. Only do this to your very special man and not to every Tom, Dick and Harry. This is very serious and important that you mean what you say and know the reasons why. Never say it just for the sake of saying. Examples follow at the end of the letter.

 Keeping His Attention and Devotion

Romance and obsession is the way a woman love and fun and sex is the way a man love. Give a man what he desires and you will have a faithful man not interested in other woman. Remember he will still look and enjoy a beautiful woman, enjoy it with him, commenting on how beautiful a body she has. You will be the special woman he has chosen to love and have fun with. You will be the Only One and he will be obsessed with you.

The Game of Love

• The first thing, or maybe the second thing a man notice about you is your smile. Having a contagious smile and laugh attracts a man. He realises you are a person who is happy and easy to please.  Smile and laugh often.

Woman laughing from her heart.

His main aim in life is to make you happy and do things you will approve of. You won’t believe how insecure men feel around a grumpy moaning women. He won’t stay long, because she is hard to please.

• Raise his emotional heat. Tune-up the intensity of emotions a man experience in your presence. The higher the intensity of emotions the more his mind will demand him to claim you.

•  Never be too available, you have to stay a challenge all your life.

•  A man needs to struggle a little before he can claim what he wants. Make him work hard for you but make the rewards worthwhile. Make promises he can’t resist but then play the delaying tactic. “I will do anything you want me to do tonight, but you first have to help me fold the washing and wash the dishes”. Be flirtatious with him throughout your relationships and married life.

Flirtatious little devil

 Men love the challenge of game playing for his attention and love. Don’t fall in his lap like an over ripe apple, be illusive and mysterious my darling. Surprise him with his own lap dancer at home.

Subtle ways of Seduction.

Charming a man is 100% mental, it works both ways, but that is only half the pleasure, once that has happened you venture into the creative side of fun. Become a revelation, be enthusiastic ,  pour all your vigour and vitality into moments and nights of pleasure. He has to know you are his lover, and beneath that everyday woman there is a passionate tiger waiting to let loose and only he can arouse that animal in you. Take care not to become mediocre and predictable.

Woman in a provocative pose

Choose your battle field well, where and when. Will it be in the kitchen, under the stars, a bar, with candle light, by the pool, in public, in the car or the bedroom. The options are endless.

Tools of Seduction.

Being confident is the best tool of all and always the winner.

• Show a little and hide a little. There is a certain way to dress that drives a man crazy, but never too slutty or revealing. Steer clear of the obvious, dresses or shorts to short and revealing. You know what you have but it is for him to find out.

• The power of scent. Men can get amorous because of pheromones in perfume.

Bottle of perfume

It enhances the moment by using aromatic oils giving him a body message e.g. choose between saddlewood, ylang-ylang, jasmine, patchouli mixed with a carrier oil like coconut oil. It is known for its aphrodisiac properties. Make perfume a recognizable part of you.

• Be super CONFIDENT. Have the confidence of a super model no matter your size or weight.

A plump young woman posing.

When seducing him in the bedroom, forget about being shy, give him the lap dance of his life and enjoy it as much as he does. Be a Cleopatra and show him who is in control.

• Be a woman who knows what she wants and knows how to get it but never over do it, it might be arrogant, always have that shy playful element around.

• Renew yourself. Don’t stay the boring same all the time. Change your clothes, loose weight, cut your hair, get a total make over etc. Change your persona frequently being happy, inquisitive, sporty, find new interests etc.

• Magic of anticipation. Excitement and tension can be a huge turn on for men. Make him earn his time with you. Delay gratification take two steps ahead and one step back. Create a strong feeling of frustration and dissatisfaction which can only be solved by having you. Give him flirtatious attention and then withdraw and ignore him for a minute or two, keeping busy with something else and then get back to him, in other words contradict yourself.

A young woman in a seductive dancing pose.

The power of exotic dancing. Learn to slow dance all by yourself with snake like moves. Arms up high and slowly bring them down one sliding down the other and then stroke your body all over as you turn around and move your hips. Do it to the rhyme of a song without looking at him, giving he the feeling of a peeping Tom. This can also be done when you slowly get rid of your clothes. You will make his day or rather night if you can loose your inhibitions and enjoy the moment in confidence, because his eyes will only be on the mid section of your body, the rest is not that important, no matter your age.

• Some items to enhance the moment will bring an interesting edge to the occasion like killer lingerie, blindfolds, long strings of pearls, silky scarves, feathers, toys and bracelets

Feathers

… using them seductively and naughty.

Long string of pearls

Forget what society says and create a world of your own, remember there is no taboo if it is consensual.

Send him flirty naughty text messages even if he is in the room next door.  Your phone can be a  great partner in crime to seduce him.

Have initiative, passion, enthusiasm and be creative, make him feel you are a different woman every time, change your look, technique and scenery. Never think it only happens when you are young my dear, it gets even better as you get older.

On a more serious note

Everybody has a conscious mind and an unconscious mind. Emotions and feelings are determined by your subconscious mind which in return is the keeper of your happiness. Remember your behaviour and your thoughts feed your unconscious mind and that mirrors your mood and your feelings. If you feed your man good words and good vibrations it will have an influence on his behaviour and feelings towards you.

Make him feel good and special around you and he will get addicted to you. There are three words that should spell out your feelings towards him.  No my dear it is  not ” I love you ” it is indeed  RESPECT APPRECIATION and ADORATION . You only say it to the man who deserves it and you are serious with … don’t mess with this my dear.

Tell him you Respect him, Appreciate him and Adore him, and say why.

• You Respect Him for being such a hard worker working long hours for your future, and the way he treats his parents. [choose your own reasons]

• You Appreciate Him for being a loving faithful honest partner. [choose your reasons]

• You Adore Him for being the best partner and lover anyone can ever have, and you can’t live without him.  [choose your own reasons]

Repeating this almost every day, finding new things to honour him, it will make him so happy, and you will appreciate him more. No matter how old you are and how long you have been together, as long as you mean it.

Mature couple still in love.

If a committed relationship fails it is because these three cornerstones Respect, Appreciation and Adoration are not honoured and when a woman does no give a man what he desires, admit the fact that you enjoy it too. When you see how he adores, admires and desires you it will change something in you. Treat him well and you will be his Queen.

Not all men are the same, you will find the way to your man’s heart your own way.

Authentic happiness authentic love is the joy of true love. There is nothing better in life than to be with him and share your life with him. Find the 10 signs of true love and cherish it my dear.

Love you lots

Gran Stella

guidancewithgranny.com

24 Comments on “Letter 10. Authentic Happiness Authentic Love”

  1. Hi Stella!

    Thank you so much for sharing this post. I love the concept of leaving letters to your granddaughter! My grandmother passed away in 2003 and I miss her dearly. My other grandmother lives in another country and we don’t communicate that well due to language barriers. However, that being said, it was lovely to read your letter as it gives insight to young women who are in search for the right companion in their life. Thanks again!

    1. Hi Hannah
      So sorry to hear of your loss though it is a long time ago, there is always that empty feeling.
      I believe you have a connection or you don’t there is not an in between. Me and my granddaughter have a very open relationship and it is lovely.
      Thank you for your comment I appreciate it.
      Stella

  2. Hi Stella!

    I realize this is for women but wow! You went into great depth and I can tell you have a lot of knowledge about love! Your website looks great and this post was very informative. Your grand daughter is very lucky to have someone like you!

    1. Hi Shawn
      Thank you for your kind words.
      It might be for women but men can benefit too … now you know what to look for in your woman, it is spelled out how she should be.
      Do you think I should try and do a letter to men too .. maybe my imaginary grandson?
      Don’t you think it is the core that should be the most important? To me it feels as if everyone is just focused on the physical and that to me is just 20 % … to look better but not to be a better person?
      I appreciate your comment and would like to know if you have something more to add? A man’s perspective is important.
      Stella

  3. Everyone needs a granny like you! When you gather these posts into a book, it will be the gift I give to all of the young women in my life. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

    1. Thank you Theresa for your motivating words.

      I have given it a thought to publish it in book form but for now it will only be the site … for sure later.

      I really appreciate your comnent.
      Stella

  4. Hi Stella,
    I really enjoy reading your posts. Last night I was telling my husband all about them and how I want to share them with my daughter and his daughters.
    They are all too young to appreciate it yet, but I will save them and keep learning from you in the meantime.
    Please keep writing these amazing letters.

    1. Thank you Carmen, that is very kind of you to say.

      It is difficult but I should think young ones will only be ripe at the age of 18 and above to realise what this is about and how to use the info.
      Glad Mom can use it in the meanwhile.
      Thank you very much for your comment I appreciate it.
      Stella

  5. This is such a lovely blog, manny young or old people don’t have that wise granny or just clever friend, to ask. This post about authentic happiness, I will bookmark this post, to my big daughter, a post like this could be like a goldmine for a young girl, or anyone how want to give a good advice or just want an idea of what’s are imported in a young heart:-)) 🙏 thank you:-)

    1. Hi Balthasar

      There are so many people walking around with unhappy feelings and not knowing how to fix the problem, I must say I believe it is mostly the fault of the women’s behaviour.

      Nobody ever get taught these things, and it is the most important facet of ones life. Your happiness depends on our feelings! I believe society plays a huge negative role.

      Thank you for a very motivational comment.
      Stella

  6. This is truly an inspiring post – I loved reading every part of it from top to bottom, the short term goals are you say are so important and the anticipation tactics are a must. I have printed this off for my wife – just a quick not to say many thanks for this letter!

    1. Hi Michael,

      Though it is more for the women, how to treat their men on the day coming soon giving them a surprise, I am glad you enjoyed it. I would like to hear your opinion on what more to add. There might be dislikes to add but I tried to stay on the positive side.
      Thank you so much for your comment.
      Stella

  7. Hi Stella – I really love your post (and the overall concept of your site!). I never had a relationship this close with my grandparents, and which I did. Your words of insight around love are just so true, I will keep your tips in mind as I continue my journey to fine a life partner. I would also like to note that I read your post on money as well, and learned a lot!

    -Christen

    1. Hi Christen
      I am really glad you approve of my posts. Me and my granddaughter have a very open relationship, she is almost 23 and it is prescious.
      Have you read my post on Relationships?
      Enjoy your journey through the maze … and soon you will have the bright clear horizon in front of you!
      Stella

  8. The level of detail is beautiful, it is like she will never have a ‘what if’ question! I can relate so much to your post, I met my husband in 1995 at university and he has been my first and current love. We have 2 kids, and the most important piece of advice is not taking love for granted, avoid getting too comfortable you feel you don’t need to put the effort. Respect, adoration, seduction, companionship, are all forms of love. My husband is my best friend as well, we grew together since we got married and in many ways have become similar which makes it easy in the day to day life, in traveling, and just hanging out in general. Thank you for a lovely post and for reminding us of the value of loving our partners. I will go kiss him now 😉

    1. Thank you for sharing Sahar, I appreciate it!

      So good to hear from really happy couples, so many live disconnected. To be on the same level is so important.

      I don’t believe in opposites attract. In such a relationship you have to work very hard to stay One. There has to be similarities to makes it harmonious.

      Wishing you a long, happy and fulfilled marriage.
      Stella

  9. This is such a great post. I love the way it is written and I love that it is letters for your granddaughter. The content is so good and it really touched me. I was not able to check all the marks on your list which really doesn’t come as a great surprise to me just a bit of sadness as I have know this for a while. Thank you for sharing this and for sharing your wisdom.

    1. Hi Alexandra
      So sorry the info on my site made you sad, it is not meant to, but if your happiness are on the line think twice.
      I am very glad you found some info that can help you.
      A lot of peolpe go into a relationship just because……..
      Not thinking of the long term effect it has on their happiness. If we can just put the physical side apart and focus on who the person you are with, really are. Sit in solitude and visualise if you are prepared to life with his behaviour for the rest of your life and will you be happy? What is it that bothers you, decide if you can live with it, accept it never to complain about it.
      If not it is time to move on.
      Wishing you all the wisdom to make the right choice for your future hapiness.
      Stella

  10. Hi there,

    Great article and absolutely enjoyed reading it, although I tend to disagree with one point when it comes to love.

    Someones elses happiness to come before your own. Sacrifice (in any way) simply does not work, according to the law of attraction. The best way of being a great partner or taking care of your partner is to be happy yourself. The best way of taking care of No 2 is to put no 1 first.

    When you are happy, it simply radiates and is infectious and helps to make the other person happy also.

    Just my 2 cents.

    (Derek from WA returning comment)

    1. Absolutely true I agree one must be happy and a whole person in yourself before you can love a partner.
      What I meant and should have made it more clear is in the little everyday things. Attend more to his preferences than yours. If he is paying attention he will realise it.
      Women are masters in this art!
      Thank you for your comment I appreciate it and your advice is spot on.
      Stella

  11. Your letters make me wish had children and grandchildren. Was not blessed in that category.

    Can not imagine either of my grandmothers caring so much to write letters like you have. The feelings of love flow with the wisdom of experience and freedom that only comes with experience. I am sure there are other men reading this becoming jealous of your husband.

    Would love to see the expression on your grandaughter’s face when maybe she reads these words before her wedding and then again after years of wedded bless.

    Looking forward to next installment

    1. Hi Barry

      Thank you, you make me blush. All is not what you think it is.

      I can see all the mistakes she is making with her current boyfriend and it is all done in ignorance, may be it will be good to learn form her mistakes herself. Later this will have more value.

      The ways of today are much different from the days when we were young, if it was different in those days some might have made different choices.

      My believe is living together for awhile might bring better clarity in what one needs and want.
      Thank you for your comment.

      Wishing you and your loved one a wonderful Valentines!

      Stella

  12. Great article. I will share this with my Fiance LOL

    As a man I think all that advice was right on. People are all different!
    It is a shame when people struggle to create a relationship when it should just grow naturally. I spent a long time in a marriage and finally the fact that my wife didn’t really like me and I was the same guy after 30 years,m she left.

    1. Hi Dennis thank you for sharing I appreciate it!

      Yes it is true, this was only a broad guideline, each couple will find their own bliz.
      I am glad you approve. So many people just could not care to make it happen, I know. I am interested in relationships from childhood and was always on the lookout of tell tale signs, I still do.
      Hope you and your loved one will have a very special day of connection.
      Stella

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