A Little Something for Valentines
My dear Thinette
What does Happiness and Love mean to you? How would you describe authentic happiness and authentic love? Have you found it yet? If you experience it, you look to the world with different eyes and your whole perspective change. You have a song in your heart and stars in your eyes.
Here are a few tell-tale Signs of True Love
• You are so proud of him.
• If you feel tingles all over your body when you see his name appear on your phone.
• Your heart skips a beat when you hear his voice.
• You can’t keep your eyes off him.
• He is on your mind day and night.
• His happiness comes first, you will do things that make him happy, not you.
• Being more open and share more intimate things with him, he will do the same.
• Feel safe and secure with him, you will trust him with your life.
• You have to have that warm happy feeling when around him and want to be with him all the time.
If you can’t mark them all, then you have not met the right one yet.
It will cause you lots of sadness and trouble if you want to pursue a relationship that is not meant to be, relax and just enjoy the company. Discuss the fact that a long term commitment might not work between you two and come to an agreement that leaving this connection is an option when you meet someone else. You will never have happiness if you try to change someone or force a relationship. It has to happen by itself. Leave that for-ever-space in your heart empty for The Special One.
Timing has a lot to do with finding the right one. I believe you have to have met the goals you set yourself as a schoolgirl and single lady. Before you have achieved your goal you will not be ready for the true full time commitment with a partner. Your Knight in shining Armour will come looking for you when he has achieved his goals he has set, before he will get serious and are ready for commitment. That will be the unexpected, exciting moment of surprise when you met.
Set your short term goals, knowing where you want to be or what you want to achieve. Maybe you want to go backpacking through Europe or do an Ocean swimming marathon before you commit for ever. Know what you want to achieve and start working towards it my darling. The sooner you met that goal the sooner you will be ready, not a moment before. There has to be such a goal, it is the only way to have personal growth. You have to reach a certain level of maturity, and only experience can bring it before you can “live happily ever after”. Don’t sit back wasting your time and stay a child forever, put your head down and get busy my dear.
Having met your Prince, you might want to impress him but it is not such a great idea. Most men would like you to be your natural self, he wants you as you are, prefer less make up, no layers and layers of foundation, artificial nails, eyelashes or hair extensions etc. He wants to run his fingers through your hair, kiss you and not risking any injury when you touch him. Keep it simple and leave all those extra’s for your girl’s night out.
Never be to serious, always be playful and fun to be around. The way you make him feel when you are around is the deciding factor for him. Making him feel loved and special will trigger the switch in his brain and he cannot live without you. Giving him the respect he deserves and telling him, is an important cornerstone to a happy unique relationship.
If you are sure he is the man for you, only then you utter these words that will make him realise you are the one for him too. Tell him how much you love and Respect him. How you much you Appreciate him for the person he is and how much you Adore him.
Put your arms around him, look him in the eye, tell him and seal it with a kiss. Only do this to your very special man and not to every Tom, Dick and Harry. This is very serious and important that you mean what you say and know the reasons why. Never say it just for the sake of saying. Examples follow at the end of the letter.
Keeping His Attention and Devotion
Romance and obsession is the way a woman love and fun and sex is the way a man love. Give a man what he desires and you will have a faithful man not interested in other woman. Remember he will still look and enjoy a beautiful woman, enjoy it with him, commenting on how beautiful a body she has. You will be the special woman he has chosen to love and have fun with. You will be the Only One and he will be obsessed with you.
The Game of Love
• The first thing, or maybe the second thing a man notice about you is your smile. Having a contagious smile and laugh attracts a man. He realises you are a person who is happy and easy to please. Smile and laugh often.
His main aim in life is to make you happy and do things you will approve of. You won’t believe how insecure men feel around a grumpy moaning women. He won’t stay long, because she is hard to please.
• Raise his emotional heat. Tune-up the intensity of emotions a man experience in your presence. The higher the intensity of emotions the more his mind will demand him to claim you.
• Never be too available, you have to stay a challenge all your life.
• A man needs to struggle a little before he can claim what he wants. Make him work hard for you but make the rewards worthwhile. Make promises he can’t resist but then play the delaying tactic. “I will do anything you want me to do tonight, but you first have to help me fold the washing and wash the dishes”. Be flirtatious with him throughout your relationship and married life.
Men love the challenge of game playing for his attention and love. Don’t fall in his lap like an over ripe apple, be illusive and mysterious my darling.
Subtle ways of Seduction.
Charming a man is 100% mental, it works both ways, but that is only half the pleasure, once that has happened you venture into the creative side of fun. Become a revelation, be enthusiastic , pour all your vigour and vitality into moments and nights of pleasure. He has to know you are his lover, and beneath that everyday woman there is a passionate tiger waiting to let loose and only he can arouse that animal in you. Take care not to become mediocre and predictable.
Choose your battle field well, where and when. Will it be in the kitchen, under the stars, a bar, with candle light, by the pool, in public, in the car or the bedroom. The options are endless.
Tools of Seduction.
• Show a little and hide a little. There is a certain way to dress that drives a man crazy, but never too slutty or revealing. Steer clear of the obvious, dresses or shorts to short and revealing. You know what you have but it is for him to find out.
• The power of scent. Men can get amorous because of pheromones in perfume.
It enhances the moment by using aromatic oils giving him a body message e.g. choose between saddlewood, ylang-ylang, jasmine, patchouli mixed with a carrier oil like coconut oil. It is known for its aphrodisiac properties. Make perfume a recognizable part of you.
• Be super CONFIDENT. Have the confidence of a super model no matter your size or weight.
When seducing him in the bedroom, forget about being shy, give him the lap dance of his life and enjoy it as much as he does. Be a Cleopatra and show him who is in control.
• Be a woman who knows what she wants and knows how to get it but never over do it, it might be arrogant, always have that shy playful element around.
• Renew yourself. Don’t stay the boring same all the time. Change your clothes, loose weight, cut your hair, get a total make over etc. Change your persona frequently being happy, inquisitive, sporty, find new interests etc.
• Magic of anticipation. Excitement and tension can be a huge turn on for men. Make him earn his time with you. Delay gratification take two steps ahead and one step back. Create a strong feeling of frustration and dissatisfaction which can only be solved by having you. Give him flirtatious attention and then withdraw and ignore him for a minute or two, keeping busy with something else and then get back to him, in other words contradict yourself.
• The power of exotic dancing. Learn to slow dance all by yourself with snake like moves. Arms up high and slowly bring them down one sliding down the other and then stroke your body all over as you turn around and move your hips. Do it to the rhyme of a song without looking at him, giving he the feeling of a peeping Tom. This can also be done when you slowly get rid of your clothes. You will make his day or rather night if you can loose your inhibitions and enjoy the moment in confidence, because his eyes will only be on the mid section of your body, the rest is not that important.
• Some items to enhance the moment will bring an interesting edge to the occasion like killer lingerie, blindfolds, long strings of pearls, silky scarves, feathers, toys and bracelets
… using them seductively and naughty.
Forget what society says and create a world of your own, remember there is no taboo if it is consensual.
Send him flirty naughty text messages even if he is in the room next door. Your phone can be a great partner in crime to seduce him.
Have initiative, passion, enthusiasm and be creative, make him feel you are a different woman every time, change your look, technique and scenery. Never think it only happens when you are young my dear, it gets even better as you get older.
On a more serious note
Everybody has a conscious mind and an unconscious mind. Emotions and feelings are determined by your subconscious mind which in return is the keeper of your happiness. Remember your behaviour and your thoughts feed your unconscious mind and that mirrors your mood and your feelings. If you feed your man good words and good vibrations it will have an influence on his behaviour and feelings towards you.
Make him feel good and special around you and he will get addicted to you. There are three words that should spell out your feelings towards him. No my dear it is not ” I love you ” it is indeed RESPECT APPRECIATION and ADORATION . You only say it to the man who deserves it and you are serious with … don’t mess with this my dear.
Tell him you Respect him, Appreciate him and Adore him, and say why.
• You Respect Him for being such a hard worker working long hours for your future, and the way he treats his parents. [choose your own reasons]
• You Appreciate Him for being a loving faithful honest partner. [choose your reasons]
• You Adore Him for being the best partner and lover anyone can ever have, and you can’t live without him. [choose your own reasons]
Repeating this almost every day, finding new things to honour him, it will make him so happy, and you will appreciate him more. No matter how old you are and how long you have been together, as long as you mean it.
If a committed relationship fails it is because these three cornerstones Respect, Appreciation and Adoration are not honoured and when a woman does no give a man what he desires, admit the fact that you enjoy it too. When you see how he adores, admires and desires you it will change something in you. Treat him well and you will be his Queen.
Not all men are the same, you will find the way to your man’s heart your own way.
Next time we can discuss the Character of a Healthy Relationship.
I will let you do your workshop in private this time my darling.
Love you lots
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