10 Secrets of a Healthy Relationship

Inspire Motivate And Empower The Next Generation

 

Dear Thinette

Thinette

Can you say in all honesty  I am happy and can’t wait to see him again?

 I can’t get him out of my mind.

I want to be with him.

It is all about what you are to each other, most certainly, filling the voids there is within? Ask yourself, why is this relationship so special? What is the secret to a long healthy relationship?

I have seen happy glowing couples holding hands talking and laughing with joy down the street. Others, in contrast, were disconnected two individuals strolling apart, one after to other each with his own thoughts. Normally Mom is handling the kids and hubby gazing at all behind her. That says it all, he might not even have a wedding band.

How much compassion do you have as a couple? Can you imagine how the other person might feel? These are all personality trends that have an influence on your relationship, making you more lovable or not. To be self-centred is not part of these behaviours.

Since I can remember I was interested in people’s behaviour and why it is. I had many daydreams of a loving partner, loving me, holding me as we talk and doing things together.

When sitting at a restaurant looking at people walking by, I never notice what clothes, hairstyle or shoes they have.  All I am interested in, are their facial expression and how they behave, most of all, towards each other. That is what gets my attention.

Immediately I get a picture of the couple, they either fall in the happy category or the unsatisfied group. Do they feel unsatisfied, with a negative outlook, furthermore, wondering what is a healthy relationship?

What is, good relationship behaviour?

My wish for you is to fall into the first category, my dear. Understand the dynamics of a relationship and how to keep the magic and joy alive. By watching others, you learn a lot.

 Healthy Relationship Tendencies

10 Secrets of a Healthy Relationship it is like A lush green flowering climber

A relationship is a living growing entity and can be compared to a plant. Giving it water, daily attention, pruning and getting rid of dead leaves, giving it growth stimulants and you will most certainly have a healthy, vibrant, lush, flowering, plant winding all around you. Nurture your relationship.

It is imperative for you to know the 5 languages of love my dear.

10 Secrets of a Healthy Relationship or can be toxic like a prickly cactus desert plant.

On the other hand, if you ignore and neglect and never water or give the plant any attention, you will soon have an untouchable prickly cactus full of thorns.  Obviously, you will ignore and avoid it.  You have to decide which option will it be.

A selfish partner will ignore and neglect and only follow his or her own desires.  Though it is a heartwarming surprise to see the overnight change from desert plant to a tropical winding creeper with just a little extra attention.

10 Secrets of a Healthy Relationship

What should I do?

  • Choose your partner wisely. We are attracted to all different kinds of people for different reasons. The best is to write down beforehand the core beliefs important to you. It could be a number of things you would want him to be.

  • Look at his personality, values, generosity of spirit, the correlation between his words and his actions, the interaction with family and friends, but most importantly how do his friends value him.

  • Know your partner’s beliefs about a relationship. People have conflicting ideas. One partner might not be ready yet and still wants to fool around while the other is ready for commitment.

  • It is important to be on the same level and feels the same. Go around and discover many different personalities, as I have said before with an open mind and not open legs.

  • If you are ready to commit do not directly talk-the-talk about commitment. A man gets nervous if you start talking about commitment when he is not ready.

  • If you really want to know, ask indirectly during a conversation to get your answer. Make this statement with questions, saying ‘ I am at the point in my life where I am ready for a longtime committed relationship, Where are you on your timeline, What more is there you want to achieve, What are your opinion, How do you feel about it? It doesn’t necessarily mean us. ‘ Let him give his opinion and listen carefully.

  • You can reply “If you are not ready yet I understand, and it is okay. I am ready for a longterm relationship and if you are not ready, I think we should end this close relationship and just be friends.”

  • You might not be The One for him but he enjoys your company. Take your time don’t be in a hurry and want to marry every man you have a relationship with. Enjoy the journey of discovery.

What are necessary for Healthy Relationships?

  • RESPECT RESPECT RESPECT in any relationship is the most important binding factor, love. Act in such a way that you will earn respect. Mutual respect is necessary.

  • When faced with a difficult situation in public, face it together as a united front. You may differ, but leave that till you are home and then discuss it in private. Be this formidable Team. United we stand!

  • When you observe a change of behaviour in your partner, ask in a loving way, why is it happening and what is the cause. Listen to the explanation, not saying a word, have an open mind and never assume or accuse, find a solution together.

  • Good communication always prevents misunderstandings. Never be a tit for tat game player.

  •  10 Secrets of a Healthy Relationship Not a Man and woman arguing.

  • Know how to manage your differences, my dear, it is essential in any relationship. Disagreements do not sink a relationship, but name-calling and playing the silent game do.

  • Learn how to handle negative thoughts and feelings which are unavoidable by-products of any difference you will have. Do not avoid or ignore disagreements, manage it in a calm and mature way as soon as it happens.

  • Never let it simmer and brew to a toxic mix. Each couple should find their own way to solve a problem, you may want to sit legs crossed on the bed facing each other holding hands discussing it. Compromise is the answer.

  • Learn to negotiate as equal partners. Modern relationships do not rely on submissive roles by culture. All is shared equally. Some situations, if the family grows, might need an update from time to time.

  • Know what you want and kindly tell him in a neutral logic loving way, and be true to yourself. Never camouflage your needs or live a lie. It will lead to misunderstandings, resentment and unhappiness.

  • A relationship is not a guessing game, he can’t read your mind. Be open and honest, and say what you need.

A Healthy Relationship Is

  • LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN. Become a good listener, focus on what he says. Do this with an open, empty mind without judgement. Sometimes just being a good listener is all that is needed to solve to problem. Be mature enough and see the problem for what it is. Both sides have valid points, keep perspective and balance.

  • Do not be overly sensitive or take it personally. It is not aimed at you. A bad day is just a bad day, it is what it is and not anybody’s fault on purpose.

  • Being honest and sincere create closeness and intimacy, but it takes two to make it happen.

  • 10 Secrets of a Healthy Relationship Couple sitting arms around each other quiet intimately on a bench.
  • A good relationship is not the end to your goal, my dear, it is only the beginning of an ongoing loving process. It will grow into a full-blown happy relationship.

  • Discuss what your future will look like together, even before you make your final commitment. Commitment and marriage is a long term togetherness.

  • Discuss your dreams and goals with each other. Are both on the same road to the same destination? Talk about the future. Where you are heading to and how are you going to achieve it? Do you have the same vision?

Couple sitting in a restaurant in deep discussion over a cup of tea.

Guidance with Granny, Secrets of Healthy Relationships?

  • Never go to bed upset with a disagreement hanging over your heads. Communicate and try a little forgiving tenderness, remember you love him not hate him, my dear.

  • You do not always have to be right, there is a term that says Compromise.

  • Not every problem should need Talk-A-Thon as a solution. When it is needed find a specific time and place to solve your problems, never make it part of your everyday life.

  • When a problem occurs write it down on a piece of paper, put it in a box for later discussion and be normal the rest of the day. Find a specific time and place together to open the box and solve the problems by discussing it in a mature manner. Compromise and find a solution both are satisfied with.

  •  An activity like a hiking trip together might be all that is needed to solve the problem.

  • Take good care of yourself. Maintain self-respect and self-esteem. Love yourself and have confidence. There is never a reason for you to neglect yourself or become sloppy and lazy.10 Secrets of a Healthy Relationship Couple having fun riding a bicycle

  • Stay physically attractive, be the one he fell in love with. Find your own style and do not become a slave of fashion. Stay mentally happy, happy and positive when around him, be the sunshine in his life.

  • Never feel and look as you have been dragged through to ditch. Look your best, and ready to enchant him when he comes home from work.

What are Healthy Relationships?

Here are a few points of importance again my dear,

Do you have open communication? Can you talk about everything and most of all, are you both good listeners.

Respect, understanding and patience, is a necessity.

Be Truthful and Honest with each other.

Have Compassion and be able to Compromise.

Trust and support.

Loyalty and Love.

  • APOLOGISE, APOLOGISE, APOLOGISE. Everybody makes mistakes, but not everyone will make an attempt to repair stability. Willingness to make-up after a disagreement is central to every long term relationship.

  • Find a loving unique way to deal with it, but never play the silent game it is childlike, be creative. A couple never has arguments it is only disagreements.

  • 10 Secrets of a Healthy Relationship Couple sitting back to back in silence and disagreement
  • Be never a needy partner, which means you are dependant on him to make you happy, give you money, entertain you and do things for you. Do not lean on him for all your excitement and needs. You drain all to joy and energy from the relationship.

  • Your partner will feel resentment and you become a burden in his mind, and it will definitely ruin a relationship. Everything in a relationship is 50/50.

  • Having a few interests and activities outside the relationship is important. A sport or a hobby of your own, and he have the same is a good thing.

  • Support each other but have your own. Stay fit and healthy, maintain your energy and zest for life. Keep an open mind and be spontaneous. Fun and surprises are sexy and exciting.

  • Don’t confuse sex with love, especially early on in a relationship. Attraction and lust is not long-lasting love my dear. Love comes from the core deep down and is not an instant surface feeling.

  • Be aware of the needs of your partner.

These are all qualities of a good relationship my dear

Guidance with Granny, What are Healthy Relationships?

Love at First Sight?

What do I think? There is not really such thing as love at a first sight. Yes, you are immediately on cloud nine, you might both feel attracted to each other from the moment you met and only have eyes and butterflies for each other.

He or she might be the person to be, The One, but only after you learned to know the person better. Your subconscious mind approves of him, he or she can end up as your dream partner, but it will take a while. Often time proves otherwise, be cautious never to go head over heels with your decisions my dear.

What are Healthy Relationships? This is the most important decision you will make in your life. Know what you want and take your time, make sure.

Can I tell you something Thinette, there is more than one soulmate for you out there, it all depends on which stage of life you go looking for him.

Search until you find The One. It will happen at the right time, not one moment before.  Find the one that will last till the end, it is possible, just be patient, be ready and take your time.

 What is a Healthy Relationship

10 Secrets of a Healthy Relationship Couple in bed cuddling and talking.

A long-lasting relationship is more than just sex. Sex is easy but intimacy is more difficult. You have to win his trust before you will have intimacy with your man. Romantic lovemaking and pillow talk are good but, lustful sex and a quicky are essential in a healthy happy relationship.

There has to be a connection between goodwill and compromise, kindness and generosity from both sides. Cuddling and talking afterwards is so important. This is the moment a man is the most acceptable to closeness, emotions and intimacy.

No one is a superhuman being … but, it is worthwhile trying!

  • Get up every morning, breath in deep and stretch high, smile with joy and a zest for life … no matter what!

  • Decide to give no one permission to steal your joy, not today, not tomorrow not ever!

10 Secrets of a Healthy Relationship

The best tips for a good relationship is, find a person that mirrors your values and believes. Be on the same side, always a team. It secures a very happy and healthy relationship.

Have a happy social life my darling.

Your loving Gran

Stella.

Granny Stella

https://guidancewithgranny.com/what-is-a-toxic-relationship/

What is a Toxic Relationship?